Maya’s Deity Dealings: The Morrígan

I guess I’m starting a new series of posts on here. This one dedicated to the deities I work with and how I work with them. I want to start defining things for myself more and part of that involves defining how I work with the divine. So this will be the first in the series.


I am no expert on the deities I work with regarding their lore and everything, but I figured a brief synopsis of who she is would be a good place to start.

The Morrígan is an Irish deity of the Tuatha dé Danann. She is often seen as one of three sister goddess whose names vary depending on the source, usually being Badb, Macha, Nemain or Anand.

She is often associated with the themes of strife, battle, sovereignty, prophecy and fate. She is said to have taken the forms of an eel, a wolf, and a cow and can also be associated with ravens, crows, and horses. She is known as the Phantom Queen or Great Queen. Continue reading


Maya’s Monthly Tarot for April

Week 1 – King of Wands – He is a charismatic king, full of charm. He is irresistible and a source of inspiration. He is proud, fierce, unafraid, and confident. He does not balk at taking chances. – The first thing I thought of with this card is Lugh. I have been trying to get going on my path again and the Morrigan was like, “work with Lugh like I told you to a year ago.” Different little elements in the way the card looks just made me think about Lugh and how yesterday on the way to work she was starting to prod me to work with him again since I’ve been pestering her for direction. So this week I may be looking at starting that relationship up again.

Week 2 – Six of Cups “She wanders along the path until she comes to her destination.” There is a tea party with all the woodland spirits, faeries, dryads, nymphs, coming out to play. Even the Queen of the Faeries comes to join the little girl. It is a reminder of childhood innocence, good intentions, noble impulses, simple joys and pleasures. – The first line of the description for this card got me, again, as I have been trying to work on my personal spiritual path recently. This second week may be indicating that to come back to that path may involve working on that pixie side of myself that is full of childlike innocence and fun. And perhaps working with the Faerie realm of things too.

Week 3 – King of Pentacles – He is man, dragon, and tree all at once and the king of the material world. He is enterprising and multitalented. He has the golden touch to make any venture successful. He is reliable and adept, steady and supportive. He is an inspiration for success and is generous and willing to share with others. Take what he offers so new seeds will sprout and grow. – This is the most material world oriented card for this month. This week may be largely focused on mundane pursuits to keep me balanced. He also speaks of being multitalented and that may be heavily related to what this week of the month holds for me, bringing forth my own talents more.

Week 4 – II The High Priestess – She is wisdom and knowledge, learning, intuition, purity and virtue. The owl as holder to the key of mysteries. The pomegranate connected to the underworld and fertility. – This week of the month may relate heavily to spiritual pursuits and learning. The rest of the month seems to lead to this.

Overall Theme – Eight of Cups – She dives down deep into the dark vastness of the sea. It beckons one to follow, delving within for personal discovery and answers. It asks to turn away from the material to embrace the spiritual. Seek deep within to find the answers. – Definitely appears to be a rather spiritually focused month for me on my path. For one, it’s something I am trying to do anyway. And two, it may lead to the answers I am looking for on my path.

Weekly Tarot 3.30

Keeping up on my weekly tarot. Good for me.

What is the next step in my path?

Seven of Swords – Escaping responsibility. Taking what is not yours. Dishonesty and being two-faced and thus not trusting or having faith in others. Deception breeds deception and distrust. – Either the cards are telling me I should be deceitful and cautious in trusting people this week as part of my path or that I need to be less dishonest with myself (I come up with things out my ass as I type sometimes)? I’m not 100% sure there. But honestly, I’m supposed to be doing some shadow work and that card sort of relates quite well to that idea. I don’t think it’s really telling me to be deceitful but perhaps it is needed for me to take a look at those sides of myself where I am being dishonest and two-faced with myself. Start being honest with myself about whatever.

What obstacles will get in my way?

Seven of Wands – Taking a stand, defending what you believe in. Strife and competition. Must have faith and courage to face the difficulties ahead. – Relating back to the previous card, I may have some issues with doing that. Perhaps this is where that dishonesty lies or it is related in some way to faith and courage. I may have trouble taking a stand and having faith in myself and whatever it is I need to do this week. Perhaps, even like my way of interpreting my cards today that seems half-assed and full of shit but I’m going with it.

Advice on overcoming said obstacles and being successful on this step:

XV The Devil – Losing independence. Caught up in material realm. Hopelessness. Break free of the puppeteer’s strings by looking beyond the material blockades and temptations. – The last bit of this is what I am figuring is the advice I need. I have a lot of blockades I create for myself and those are often what keeps me from progressing along my path. Whether those blockades are self-doubts, little distractions, excuses, or little lies I tell myself, they are my making and I can overcome them.

And sometimes I feel like I’m shitting out my ass when I do these things.

Dream Log 3.29

The Context:

I had a number of dreams last night or rather this morning. But this one was most vivid and weird and interesting all at the same time. There is another bit I remember from a separate dream but this one takes the cake. The other bit is out of context and I can’t quite retell it fully anyway.

But I need to give some minor context before I begin. Last night we had a surprise party for a friend’s birthday. We of course had to play Cards Against Humanity. If you have never played it, it’s like Apples to Apples only for really horrible people and you always feel like you are going to Hell by playing it.

One of the playable white cards is “a plunger to the face.” Which isn’t remarkable in and of itself, but my friend and her husband kept talking about it at one point as we were playing. As I slept and came in and out of dreaming and unconsciousness my own thoughts last night kept going to our game playing and things being said and of course, “a plunger to the face” was one of those things.

So I will leave you with that and you can figure out why that comment is necessary.

The Dream:

Everyone was gathering around the device. It would be my first year being a part of it all this time. I had finally come of age to share my dreams with them. But I wasn’t excited about that in the least.

Sharing meant they would know. They would be able to know about everything. The device was a form of mind reading and control of the human population. It was their version of keeping the peace and an eye on troublesome people who would destroy the civilization they had made on our world.

I had seen the ceremony before. Everyone laying around the devices waiting for them to show up. When they did there would be at least one of them at each device. They would plug in, if that is the right term for it, allowing one tentacle to touch the device and the other to suction to each person’s face in turn.

That’s when they would read everyone’s thoughts and dreams. They fed off that telepathic psychic energy. That’s one reason they brought the devices to us. We had such rich dreams and thoughts apparently. But not everyone liked the process and wanted to be a part of it. Not everyone had nice thoughts and dreams.

They began to use the device to weed out the troublesome population. It was no longer a volunteer process. It became mandatory at a certain age. And if you had anything to do with and resistance movements or thoughts, you would be removed permanently.

There were a few would could resist. I had been training to do so before now, but I didn’t know if I would be able to. I was too nervous. My dreams had always been too vivid, my thoughts always running wild.

My mentor (my aunt? my mother?) pulled me aside with several others of our little group. We still had time before the ceremony so we walked down a set of stairs out and away.

I had forgotten something. My token. We had to go back for it. It would help focus me during the process to keep them from reading too far in. It would help keep my dreams rich enough but also bland enough to not be noticed as there had been times when someone’s dreams were too vivid and too rich that the person was taken away to be their personal daily treat.

We were well off the premises when I found my token, an old rosary. We needed to get back quickly, but there wasn’t much time. We flew/glided (???) down to the ground before running back to the stairs and up to the device.

I took a spot near a friend (cousin?). I was nervous still, but comforted that I had my token on hand. There were no rules against them. They hadn’t figured out yet why some always and consistently brought special items with them during the ceremony. They hadn’t figured out why they could only read so far into their bland dreams. But I wouldn’t be the first.

The Commentary:

So yeah. Apparently my dream was set in some version of things where these aliens were around and they fed on dreams. They started using it to figure out who was resistance because their device acted as a mind reading machine. And they had plunger-esque tentacles that would suction around people’s faces (like Daleks I suppose only not so mind-melty). I never actually saw the beings in my dream, I just knew about it.

Typical I would be involved in the resistance too. That’s usually how my dreams work. I’m an Aquarius, the rebel sign, ruled by the rebel planet. Of course I involve myself with resistance movements.

The flying part was random, but whatever. Have to have something out of context in my dreams. Having a rosary as a token is not so out of context though. I love rosaries. I’ll still say them now and then too. Of course, when I finally got up this morning I noticed my damn cat had knocked my grandmother’s rosary off the windowsill where I have a meditation space.

I don’t know if there is quite anything else I have to say about this dream. It was quite interesting to say the least.

Shufflemancy Messages 3.25

As things come up I will obviously create new categories of what I do. Since I mentioned music the other day and since apparently someone decided to get my attention I am starting a little section of this blog relating to Shufflemancy Messages.

The What of Shufflemancy:

If you don’t know what shufflemancy is, here I will give you the basics as I understand them. In general, you listen to your music on shuffle, whether that be with your iPod and iTunes playlists, Pandora stations, or Spotify playlists. You can send out a question to the ethers to be answered or ask a specific being to answer the question with songs or you can set certain songs as triggers that indicate a message is about to come through. I have certain songs that I link to certain deities and spirits I work with. I don’t always pay attention so it depends on if the song actually catches my attention that I look for the message. Sometimes I set it to be so many songs after the question is posed or the signal song comes on. Other times it is the very next song. Then I look at that song’s lyrics for the message. Sometimes it’s just a small set of the lyrics and sometimes it’s the full song. Sometimes it is clear and sometimes it isn’t.

Today’s Trigger:

Just now I was looking through my dashboard on Tumblr and saw an image that reminded me of the Morrigan with whom I work regularly. Then there were a ton more images much the same way. No big deal, generally.

Then the next song on my Pandora was “Witch” by Cold. This song isn’t generally associated with her as I have never really heard it before, but something told me to look at it. I may associate it with her in the future now. The song itself didn’t seem like the message; though, I still want to include the lyrics here:

“Witch” by Cold

I never knew, she’s gone 
She’s flown away 

Everyone said she’s not 

Your kinda girl 

I’m so alone, this girl 

Is flowing fear 

Everyone said 

She fucked up this time 

It’s my brand new world 

And it’s my brand new world 

This way 

I’ll never change, it’s wrong 
So go away 

Everyone said she’s not 

Your kinda girl 

I’ve tasted love, it burns 
I’m so afraid 

Everyone said 

She fucked up this time 

It’s my brand new world 

And it’s my brand new world 

This way 

I think this fucking witch knows 
The way 

And everything I feel 

It’s all mine

The Song Message:

The next song that came up is a song I have gotten from the Morrigan before which definitely seemed more inclined to be her message for me. I could have gone with the third song (“Ghost of You” by My Chemical Romance) but Breaking Benjamin’s “I Will Not Bow” is more of the message.

“I Will Not Boy” by Breaking Benjamin


Now the dark begins to rise
Save your breath, it’s far from over
Leave the lost and dead behind
Now’s your chance to run for cover

I don’t want to change the world
I just wanna leave it colder
Light the fuse and burn it up
Take the path that leads to nowhere

All is lost again
But I’m not giving in

I will not bow
I will not break
I will shut the world away
I will not fall
I will not fade
I will take your breath away


Watch the end through dying eyes
Now the dark is taking over
Show me where forever dies
Take the fall and run to Heaven

All is lost again
But I’m not giving in

I will not bow
I will not break
I will shut the world away
I will not fall
I will not fade
I will take your breath away

And I’ll survive, paranoid
I have lost the will to change
And I am not proud, cold-blooded fake
I will shut the world away

Open your eyes!

I will not bow
I will not break
I will shut the world away
I will not fall
I will not fade
I will take your breath away

And I’ll survive; paranoid
I have lost the will to change
And I am not proud, cold-blooded fake
I will shut the world away



I have gotten this song from her before, like I’ve said. And both times it has really been the set of lyrics that say “I will not bow/ I will not break/ I will shut the world away/ I will not fall/ I will not fade/ I will take our breath away.” It always gets me a little more motivated to do something and keep going and not let things get me down. Though, right now, I have gotten out of that funk, I think she is still there encouraging me to keep moving forward on this path I am trying to find for myself.

Dream Log 3.16ish

I had this dream last week at some point and it really intrigued me. I felt the need to post it even though I had it before I started this blog. I also have the urge to draw now too based on it.

The Dream:

My wrists are cuffed in heavy irons before me, but I am being transferred or released. I’m not quite sure which. There are two other prisoners, both male, with me as we are taken abroad the ship.

I stretch my dragon-like wings for the first time since being taken out of the prison and it feels good to be out in open air again. The wind catches them for a moment and I relish the air puffing at them before I fold them back.

He is here. The one who locked me up. He is releasing me and my fellow prisoners for this voyage he is making. He needs our help with something and we are being granted temporary conditional freedom to serve him.

Other passengers, non-convicts, are also boarding the ship. There are two children, a boy and a girl. It’s her.

The other two prisoners pay no heed to the other passengers. They know who the man is and what he has done to us, and me specifically.

“Why don’t you kill him?” the one asks when he is gone. “You could kill him easily and we’d all be free.”

I turn and smile at them. “He knows I won’t do it.” I turn back to look at the girl who has no recognition at all of me and continues playing with the boy, her half-brother. “Not with her here.”

Whether my affiliates understand is of no concern. She is my daughter taken away from me when he sent me away. She is our daughter. He knows I will protect her with my life and that I would not kill him with her present and not knowing who I am.

Time passes and we’ve taken to land again. We are traveling across the wilds and dragon country where it is dangerous to travel uninvited. I don’t know where we are going, but I understand now why he wanted me here.

I sense them first and then I see them in the sky in the distance. I motion for the others to take cover in the brush and few bushes that surround us. This is what makes the journey difficult, little coverage for the fly overs. We’ve been spotted and a group of small dragonlings land around us.

They sleep, however. Perhaps it’s by chance, dream logic, or someone’s ability, they fall asleep and do not attack.

We are back at the ship again, but something has happened. It is sinking. There are more people now and the water in the main cabin is rising and covers us all. But no one panics and no one seems to be unable to breath. They simply keep going about their business.

I find myself wandering into a room of waiting men. I know they are here because they are expecting a child to be born. They are meant to be separated from the women and I am promptly sent out of the room. I turn around and find that the woman, whoever she is, has had the baby and my father is holding the child at the moment before handing it to me. I never see the woman.


I like calling it commentary now. 🙂

The part most striking for me from this dream has got to be the wings. Metaphysically and on the astral I do have wings, but they are pixie wings like a dragonfly. They are definitely not large bat/dragon/demon-like wings. They were powerful wings and had the little hook claw on them. I don’t know what I was, but I know I wasn’t a demon. The other prisoners had an awe for me as being powerful but there was no indication that I was anything like an actual demon.

The man and the daughter was also intriguing to me. He was quite dismissive of me and barely acknowledged me in the dream, but I knew full well who he was. And the girl was our daughter. I have astral children, but she was not one of my daughters from now. In some cases, I can see my own Gerarian being the man, but the context is so odd that I don’t know. I rarely saw him in the dream to be able to connect him to anyone I have met in this life.

Other events started deteriorating in the whole dream-time way things do. But that part about being a prisoner with these dragon wings and having a daughter were the clearest part.

Sometimes I wonder if it is an indication of some strange past-life where I incarnated as another type of being. But I don’t know what type of being that is as I have never come across any similar besides demons and I can’t just reincarnate as a demon for the hell of it. Other times I wonder if the dream is one of those snap shots into another reality that I get from time to time. A glimpse at what is happening in a parallel/alternate reality/universe. I do get those from time to time, but it has been a while.

The other parts of the dream almost seem heavily symbolic of whatever. I try not to dig too deep into some of my dream symbols because they can get quite weird. Although, the pregnancy and baby portion put me on red alert when a second dream two nights later had someone pregnant in it again. But I may mention that further in another dream log about that dream.

Whatever the dream was indicating really did pique my interests. It is definitely something I still want to figure out because it had that clarity to it that my other more “normal” dreams don’t have. I remembered it too clearly the events and the feelings of it to just set aside.

Tarot Log – Week Ahead for 3.23

I try to do a weekly Tarot pull now and then on my Tumblr, and I figured I’d start doing that here as well.

Adapted from the weekly spread that my roommate uses. Using Shadowscapes.

What is the next step on my spiritual path this week:

King of Swords

This King is a pillar of strength and morality. He holds power over life and death. He is a warrior king, always prepared for action. He is a leader that rides at the front of the army. He follows a path of truth and wisdom guided by the owl. He is also guided by the two ravens, much like Odin’s. They fly to seek out the truth and bring but their findings to whisper in his ears. He is a blend of science and art, day and night, sun and moon.

It may be a week to blend and balance aspects of my spiritual and mundane lives together. He works with animal guides here and I may need to sit down with mine this week. A part of me thinks there might be something coming this week that I have to be prepared for like the King is always prepared.

What challenges will I face on my path this week:

I The Magician

The Magician represents with originality, creativity, skill, willpower, self-confidence, dexterity, and sleight of hand. He grasps at the unseen and harnesses it to become reality. He harnesses the elements. He knows what he wants and knows he can make it happen with an exertion of his will and knowledge of how to manipulate the world.

I may be over-confident or not confident enough this week to do what needs to be done for my path. I’m thinking the not so much one because that is how I’ve been these last few weeks. So the challenge becomes knowing I can do what needs to be done and making sure I have the right amount of confidence in myself. Also, relating to my idea that the King is warning me to be prepared about something coming this card makes me also think about it dealing with someone who is a lot like the Magician.

Advice for the next step:

XI Justice – She is balance, harmony, equilibrium, assuming responsibility, weighing all sides of an issue, choosing with full awareness. She relies on a logical mind, capable of objectiveness in all situations and adjusting. Meditation on right morality, and duty, and even compromises might need to be made to truly see both sides of the situation. Admit and acknowledge truth. Comprehend results of actions and connections they have to everything else and then set course for future.

The meditation part strikes me on this card and it may indicate that I need to keep up on my meditations and journeying to be successful in this next step on my path.

All three cards have winged figures in them. The King has a pair of darker feathered wings with shadows springing from them. The Magician has two-toned wings with dark feathers at their center. The wings of Justice are much the same, though remind me more of a swan that the Magician’s wings. Thought it was note-worthy to mention that. May need to work with angels this week as well.