Warning: Long rant ahead…
Yesterday, I went to my psychic development class. It is the end of the semester so I have more time again to start going. Plus, I need to get out of the house more.
I felt the need to go this time because of the crap I have been getting from the Morrigan. She is currently quite insistent that I make this decision and that it will be for my own good. It may push my comfort zone but it will be good for my development in the long run.
Well, class started out well enough. A lady who is fairly regular was back for the first time in months and announced she would be moving and would miss us all. She has a lot of questions about what happens after we die and what pets have to do with that cycle. She also asked about transgender people and how they fit in. It was actually a quite interesting discussion, and while it ate up some time from a longer meditation we could have had, it is still a good beginning of class. Until he showed up.
Grant has been a regular at the store for quite a while, but that does not mean the store or its other customers appreciate him. He tries everyone’s patience to the umpteenth degree. And he is just super creepy. I feel very uncomfortable around him.
Part of that may be due to his overly New Agey sense of himself. The other part is just him being awkward and a creep. I don’t care how in tune with the universe you think you are, if you come off as a creep you are not as in tune as you think you are. You should be able to read how you come off to others.
Anyway, he walked in and disrupted the discussion going on. He started rearranging the chairs for no apparent reason and jabbering more than usual. He sat on the other side of one of my friends from the class Carla, and I couldn’t help but feel relief for that. However, when we started to get settled, after he moved the chairs next to me, he decided to camp out on the floor next to me for meditation, spreading his shit everywhere.
I have a habit of boxing or walling up people I dislike heavily that are in my presence. Some are aware enough of it that they stop pestering me and others. Others are so dense they just keep going and the walling does nothing. Well, because he was right next to me, and Cerridwen’s gifts and the Morrigan insistence on opening my abilities, I couldn’t help but feel his energy which made me even more uncomfortable than usual. I immediately started trying to box him up while the conversation started to direct to the coming meditation.
I made sure to strengthen my own bit of shielding while trying to keep his energy boxed and walled off from me and others. Lights went out for meditation and a few moments in and he got up to go to the bathroom. Relief for but a few moments again. Then he was back. Luckily the meditation wasn’t geared as much toward communicating with guides and loved ones on the other side like usual so I didn’t have to worry about trying to keep boxing him off and trying to chat with the Morrigan and whoever.
After meditation John, our teacher, decided we should make a slight change to our usual message giving approach. Instead of just giving messages, he wanted us to take more of an approach of actual mediumship by contacting and delivering messages specifically from loved ones, guides, or angels on the other side. Usually, we just give messages from Spirit in general unless someone is more inclined to connect to someone.
Panic went across most of our faces. I know had a panic moment. Mostly, that was because I realized that relates a bit to what the Morrigan is wanting me to make a decision about. I can do it if I let myself be open to it. I have honestly done the mediumship thing in a past life too because that was one of the times my clairsentience was actually highly developed. So there was a moment where the potential for this particular would have been great.
John gave us the choice between working in pairs that he decided or that we picked or we could work in a small circle to deliver messages. That was when it went downhill. It was decided that we should work in a small circle. It still had potential, but not with Grant…
I don’t care how many people you know on the other side, not all fucking messages are for you. Not every black lab, canoe, George, Frits, Melinda, or Tamila is for you. Do not be a fucking message hog! And, I am sorry, your dead grandfather is not a fucking ascended master.
I couldn’t even get close to giving a message because I couldn’t concentrate with all the “Oh, that’s me!” every few seconds then drawn out by a convoluted story about how something related to something completely unrelated.
You can probably assume that class did not go well. No real message were given because of Grant. No one was really able to give anything of value nor receive anything either.
But after class was the usual dinner. I sat as far as I could from Grant but not nearly as far as I would have liked. Because it was a crappy enough class I actually ordered a beer, which actually has a tendency to loosen my lips a lot and make me a bit short tempered if I am annoyed. Carla ended up drinking two glasses of wine herself because of Grant too. John was joking about needing a valium to deal.
Now, dinner wasn’t too bad. Kathy, the lady who was moving to Florida, kept Grant occupied with intense discussion. I chatted with Carla and John a bit. Somehow, I got around to mentioning the Ouija board to John and that perked Grant’s interest. At this point, I was over half-way done with my pint of beer.
Apparently Grant disagreed with Ouija boards and asked me why I used them. My smart-ass self-explanatory answer was that it’s for communication with spirits. He asked something else about whether I used it by myself and I scoffed and said no, of course not. Personally, I don’t use it by myself, because while I am an energetic battery it is still draining to use it by myself. I could do it, but I would rather not. His response, though, was because that’s what a witch would do and that I’m not a witch.
If you have been reading this blog or my tumblr, you should know I do consider myself a witch. So I quickly snapped back, “Who said I wasn’t a witch?” I am pretty sure the whole table got quiet. The New Age shop I go to is mostly New Age, not witch oriented. However, they do carry a lot of things that witches would like and use. I know John is not fond of Wiccan or witch shops because the energy from when they cast spells in the shop makes him ill. I think that shop he was referring to is not the greatest anyway. That isn’t to say John and the others at the shop are not witch friendly, I think my tone of voice caused them to quiet.
Grant went on to say something about me being a white witch then. I interrupted him quickly because I do not hold to stupid black and white witchcraft ideas at all. A past life of mine is quite adamant about there being no such thing as white magic or black magic or whatever. I don’t prescribe to any idea that dark is evil and light is all good either. And when he tried to correct himself about me working for the light I had to jump his throat again for that.
Then the food came and that ended that discussion. I was quite hungry and proceeded to eat fairly quickly to avoid any more comments to him and since he got his food he was occupied there.
I love going to psychic development class. I really do. But now and then there are people like Grant that can ruin it. John knows that my roommate and I cannot stand this guy so when he pairs us up in class he will pair us with people other than Grant. Usually, I have that blessing.
I think the thing that really annoyed me this time was because there was this great potential to really work on this thing the Morrigan want me to work on and it ended up not happening because of Grant. While it was out of my comfort zone to think about trying to specifically connect with someone’s loved one, it was meant to be one of those steps I needed to take. And it couldn’t happen last night.
I don’t know if I want go anywhere else with this. It is mostly a rant, but one I needed to get out.