Periodically, different ideas pop into my head about where my path could take me. What is it that I want out of my path? Where do I want to go with it? Do I want to go just a personal path as a solitary hedge witch? Or would a path as a psychic-medium be something for me? Or even take on a role in my path as priestess?
The Morrigan was insistent that if I wanted to pursue a path that incorporated more of a service to others like the mediumship path, I needed to accept her gifts she wanted me to have from my work with Cerridwen. Those gifts are a little difficult for me as much as I try working on them. I will get there, I am sure, but a lot of it involves dealing with my own emotions first.
Anyway, my mind has been sifting through what I want out of my path, because the Morrigan and even Mother has told me it is up to me to decide what to do with it. It is incredibly frustrating for me to hear that because I typically expect the deities I work with to tell me what is best for my path. Unfortunately, the Morrigan said recently that is the very reason I have to make the decision myself. I rely a little too much on others rather than myself to make those kind of decisions.
Blah blah blah. I get it Morrigan.
I have been asking her, though, how she wants me to work on and develop this ability that I don’t know how to use. She understands that and knows I need help developing it. Just because it is open for me doesn’t mean I automatically know how it works for me just yet. She has been offering suggestions and advice, but it isn’t necessarily her area of forte either. So, she suggested I talk with another.
This time it is the goddess Danu or Anu (Welsh Don). I had been thinking about her on and off since I began working with the Morrigan and various Celtic deities. Part of me was unsure of her being an actual mother goddess of the Tuatha de Danann or if she is simply a hypothetical one based on the name. Because of that, I have been hesitant in seeking her out. But the Morrigan suggested her and I talked with her in my car ride to and from my parents.
I asked her about the idea of being a priestess I did talk about the developing this ability thing too but our discussion mostly focused on the priestess thing and she asked of whom? Would it be for Mother and Father? Or the Morrigan? Or perhaps several deities? Hmm. Good question. Rather than do pursuing anything like that yet, she suggested I try something else first. Devote myself to the Morrigan. It isn’t something the Morrigan has ever asked of me, but something I think she might actually want. When I talked to her after that discussion with Danu, the Morrigan gave me the spiel that if she did ask I would likely ignore the request anyway.
I always think that I am not much of a “devotee” type person. I was never a good devoted Catholic so would I be a good devoted pagan/polytheist? I don’t mind saying I work with different deities. I don’t mind saying that the Morrigan is pretty much my patron goddess (yes patron as the gendered title matron doesn’t suit her). I don’t mind making somewhat more devotional related jewelry or artwork or whatever, but to devote myself to any deity seems a bit foreign to me.
The Morrigan seems okay with the idea, but still insists that is it my choice, that I don’t have to if I don’t actually want to. Danu says it will help lead me more on my path if I do so and will help me figure out whether a priestess related path would be somethings I want (not that being a devotee is the same thing it will just give me an idea). It can help me figure out what I need to do with my path in the long run as well.
Considering how long the Morrigan has been involved in my life and how long I have actually worked with her, I owe her something more than just my irreverent smart mouth and failure to “listen.” She’s like Navi with all the listens. This devoting myself to the Morrigan is actually something I may consider doing here soon. I will likely write about it when it does happen, but for now it seemed like something I needed to mention. I’ll probably do multiple divinations to see whether it is something I should pursue, but a part of me thinks it would be a good idea.