Day 12 – Sadness
The Morrighan doesn’t much tolerate wallowing in grief and sadness. It isn’t that she is unsympathetic. She understands grief. She understands why one might go through periods of depression. She will give one space if they need it.
The part she doesn’t tolerate is the wallowing. She doesn’t tolerate the self-pity. She has no time for it and her expectations of you are high enough that she believes you shouldn’t have time for it either.
There have been times I have let that wallowing self-pity happen and the Morrighan has not been the shoulder to cry on during those times. She is impatient and insists that if I want something to change to get my head out of my ass and make it happen.
Now, that isn’t to say she sees no value in experiencing sadness now and then. She has insisted several weeks in a row during my weekly tarot readings that I need to acknowledge my emotions. There is a difference between denying emotions (esp. sadness) and acknowledging them before moving on. There is a difference between acknowledging and holding on to wallow in those emotions.
I tend to be more on the side of denying my emotions than either acknowledging or wallowing. It is a constant struggle for me to acknowledge certain emotions. So many of the tougher ones relate to things from my past. They fall into a huge hodgepodge of spiritual, psychic, metaphysical, and astral PTSD issues I have yet to fully deal with. Some days it seems like it, but other days little things remind me that I am not over it.
The Morrighan always brings it up, now and then in tarot or something, that I need to work through those emotions. To work through the sadness. To work through the anger. And while she doesn’t like wallowing, she knows that denying is worse and there is a cathartic healing that needs to happen in the release that comes with acceptance. Because then, I can move on and she doesn’t have to get quite so frustrated about it. 😛