Day 25 – Knowledge
I is about time I finish this thing for the Morrigan. I started this post the other day on my trip but didn’t get the chance to finish it, so here we go.
“Ignorance is bliss, but knowledge is power.”
Recently my roommate and I had been talking about if we would ever be able to give up this life of ours. (She talked about it more here.) We know the answer to this quite easily. We couldn’t give it up. We can’t just set aside our knowledge and experiences and pretend it never happened.
I have been on this path fairly actively for a good ten years in this life. I talk about more things from my college years on my other blog, but I simply cannot turn away from those experiences and pretend they never happened. I cannot turn away from this path that I am on now and say it is all the “devil’s work” or bullshit and I can’t do it anymore.
I just can’t. I would feel incomplete. All of this knowledge I have gained over the years, all the experiences I have had, I don’t know what I would do without them. My life before was incomplete and full of ignorance but it really wasn’t a life of bliss. That feeling of being incomplete and searching for something was so prominent that I knew there was something more. And I found it. It was a series of somewhat unfortunate weird events, but I found it.
I remember one point in undergrad when my college roommate Grace was questioning whether we should tell some of our friends on campus what was going on in the spiritual/metaphysical battleground that I told her, “Ignorance is bliss, but knowledge is power.” Our friends might be living a life of blissful ignorance but they were also in danger. They needed to know. We couldn’t keep doing what we were doing without our friends knowing the risks their actions had and what we would have to do. So I encouraged her to tell our friends about her abilities and what we experienced. While many of those people eventually proved to not be the most trustworthy in the end, I never regretted telling others and sharing our experiences.
It is the same with the fact that what I know, the knowledge I have gained over these years, I would never give it up. I will never again regret this life. The things I know and the things I do, I do not regret them. It gives me hope and power and a purpose in this life.
I have stumbled quite a few times. I have had moments were I have regretted and complained about why I agreed to come back into this incarnation. The heartbreak and the betrayals take their toll and leave deep scars. And when those darker moments take hold I regret for a time and wish I didn’t know these things. But I know, oh I know at the deepest level of my being, that a life of ignorance would kill me so much more than the wounds from the path I walk. I would be lost.
I cannot turn away from this path or else I would be turning away from who I am. This life is so much who I am now that I cannot give it up and pretend it never happened. It would deny what is is to be me. It would deny all the knowledge I have gained. The knowledge of these crazy weird things. The knowledge of my path. The knowledge of others. The knowledge of myself on so many levels.
And I am so happy to know who I am. That is knowledge I can never ignore or deny. That is knowledge that the Morrigan has helped me see. She has been guiding me on my path for years before I started working with her. Her knowledge of who I am and what my purpose is has lead me here, guided by her subtle and not-so subtle hands.
So, yes. At times ignorance is bliss. But once you have knowledge, you can never go back to a life of ignorance. You have a power, and even a burden, to do something with that knowledge. It is a purpose not everyone can handle, but I could never give up the knowledge to go back to a life of “blissful” ignorance. Not now. That point of no return has long ago been passed and I am devoted to walking this path the rest of my life.