Day 28 – Lost
There is something in the act of getting lost that you truly find yourself. The wandering into the deep dark woods where the path becomes so obscured you cannot even find your way back, but you keep going forward. In those dark silent places you have nothing else to do but look at yourself in the mirror-still waters. Is it your shadow that looks back? Is it your soul? Is it your light? But with nowhere else to go, you have to face the unknown that is you. In that confrontation is when you find yourself, and know yourself for who you truly are. And that is when the path appears again.
Even on a spiritual path, sometimes wandering aimlessly is all that matters. Sometimes just searching is what is important. Because the more you search for a deeper meaning, the more it will allude you. The more you force your way through the forest, the more lost you get. You will miss the part where you find yourself and the path reveal itself again.
I think I expected the Morrighan to give me a cleared laid out path when I devoted myself to her. That is what I was looking for. I was already lost before then, so it would make sense that she would finally reveal to me what I needed to do for my spiritual path. But that wasn’t the case. At first, yes, she showed me some things and asked me to work on some things. But there was no path laid before me. No signs that I would be coming out of this place where I felt unsure what my path should be doing.
I suppose that was Her lesson there. I have certainly felt more fulfilled on my path than I was before. But I have wandered aimlessly and set aside things when my mundane life got busy. Most of the time I have no idea what I am doing and while at times that bugs me, it also seems like it is okay. There is something still yet to discover here. Something I must find before the path reveals itself and I am no longer lost.