Clearing Out and Letting Go

I have been spending a lot of time cleaning out my tumblr blog and it taking a long time to get anywhere. I reblogged a lot of crap in the past and it just needs to get off my blog.

But part of what I have been doing is moving a good chunk of posts that were for specific spirits and deities over to a new devotional eshrine blog account. It will be mostly reblogs of old posts I had that relate somehow to the beings I work with or am friends with. It is a way to incorporate more devotional acts into my practice.

I already have 300 posts queued up on that blog and I am not very far into my posts from 2014 yet. >.< The fun thing is I can only queue 300 posts anyway. :/ So now everything is just getting deleted or reblogged immediately.

But even getting through the first six months of my time on my tumblr blog has been refreshing. Clearing out old reblogs already lightens things up. Of course, the length of time it is taking is a bit disheartening too, but I am taking it in bits so that I can continue to make progress with this clean up.

It also feels nice to do something as a devotional act to by setting up the eshrine blog. It almost gets me closer to feeling those intense god feels my roommate talks about. Not that I don’t feel them anyway, they just tend to be very confined beneath the surface. I am such an air sign sometimes that it is odd for me to show a lot of emotions about some things and when I do I reel them in very quickly.

Anyway. I am enjoying this little project. Again, it is quite refreshing and it is nice to let things go. While I am still keeping quite a few posts still in one form or another, a lot is getting deleted and it’s letting go of things that are not needed. I am doing that with my stuff in my rooms too. I have a couple bags of old clothes that I am getting rid of (some will go to my niece if they fit her and others will be donated). I need to let go of crap. I have so much of it. On my blogs and just in my life. It is time to make space for other things.

I am really trying to get myself in the right mindset and get myself set on my path and spiritual development. It has been a long time coming doing these sort of things. With the New Year about to begin it is the perfect time. Out with the old to make room for progress.

Winter Solstice Cleansing

Monday was the Solstice where I live. To sort of start out my new study schedule (which the hard core study will be delayed until next week I think) I thought it would be a good idea to do some cleansing. We are close enough to the New Year, that I figured it would work at Yule/Winter Solstice.

One of the big things I did was some deep cleaning in my bedroom. I moved furniture (except my bed because that is too big/heavy for me to move by myself) and vacuumed. Dusted the corners and the walls. Put back up a puzzle that fell down months ago. Set up my cat’s water fountain again even though he doesn’t drink from it anymore. And freshened up my altar space just a bit.

Aside from all the actual cleaning, I planned a minor ritual to cleanse myself and my space. I took a ritual bath with some winter rainwater I collected that morning and sandalwood oil. Then when I was done with that I went back to my room and did a smoke cleansing for my own aura and the energy of my room. I wanted to remove any stagnant and unwanted energy from my personal space and reset it. After that was more personal energy cleansing running through my chakras and aura for gunk and asking the Morrigan and others to remove any obstacles from my personal path.

I ended up offering wine and some no-bake cookies I had brought back from my mom’s the other day. I like offering things I enjoy. ^_^

That was really the gist of it. I didn’t do any super deep meditations or anything. Just said my thank yous and that kind of thing before cleaning up and attempting to air out my room. 😛

But it was a nice little observance to do and while I still have more cleaning to do (like get rid of old clothes and reorganize my drawers) I feel it was really helpful and a nice restart.

Since then I have been doing some blog cleanup over on my tumblr. I had almost 20,000 posts from reblogging crap so I figured I would take this time to try and trim that down. I haven’t gotten terribly far (down to just below 19,000) but it is moving along. I decided to start a sideblog over on tumblr as an Eshrine to the beings I work with so a lot of posts are migrating over that direction. 🙂 Just another thing I wanted to do as an act of devotion to all of them.

Winter Altar

So I wanted to give you all a peek at my current altar/shrine set up. My altar always seems to double as a shrine. It is where I do a lot of my meditation and now and then I’ll do some divination here too. I will also use the space to charge things if need be.

I have a close up and a wider shot. Since it is the Christmas/Yule/Winter Equinox season I have a little Christmas tree in the corner and I took some lights and wrapped it around the tree and then up the wall and back down around the front of the sewing table my altar is set up on.

This space is honestly super cluttered, but I have candles and stuff set up for different beings I work with. There are two candles each for the Morrigan an Lugh (one set are Reiki candles toward the back of the altar and the other set I bought from Beth Wodanis and I love them). I also have a candle of Manannan in the middle because I liked the symmetry. I set out Tarot cards that remind me of these three deities. Then I have candles set up for Gerarian and the kids to the side, and yeah. So much other stuff.

It will probably get switched up tomorrow or next week since the holidays will be over then and I am planning on starting my new study schedule tomorrow which will incorporate making sure I take care of and update my altar and shrine a little more effectively than what I have been. Also this is me avoiding grading at the moment.

Here are the pictures now:

Dream Log 12.20

I have done one of these in a while but I thought there were parts of this dream that were quite interesting.

The Dream(s):

Where I am and how I got here has faded from memory. There are others around but I don’t recognize them now. I don’t know what we are doing, but there is a small pool of dark liquid that is very still.

I jump onto the plank that stands in the middle across the long ways of the pool. The black liquid laps across it and my feet. I lower myself to my stomach to feel the liquid more, but it just feels like water. So I get up and walk back to a small platform near the one edge. It too has the black water sitting on it.

Somehow I fall in. Or am I pushed? Where did the center plank go? I know this blackness isn’t good to be submerged in, so I flail and struggle in the depths. It feels like a quagmire now. Thick and oozing and it pulls me down.

But then there is a strange sense of stillness and peace. I loose sense of my body and everything else. I don’t think I am breathing anymore either. I don’t feel anything. But somehow I get back out of the black liquid and onto the platform, pulling myself up and out. Back to where I can breathe and where I can feel again. My heart pounding from brief submersion in the pool.

Then other dreams shift around and I find myself with more recognizable faces. There are so many rooms and half rooms that my dream space likes to create a maze to give me places to run and hide. And I hide from something/someone for some time alone. But there is some in the next room with only a partial wall separating us. I am never alone here.

But something happens. Rather than hiding there is running, a chase. I don’t know at first if I am chasing or being chased this time. They are after something. Others show up and come to help or maybe to the rescue but the other I know was there that I never see has escaped and hidden themself from us.

We stand there for a minute and I explain something, whatever it was that happened with the chase. What I come to realize he is after. There is a tower. A temple. I saw it in another dream I didn’t remember. There is a countdown now. Time is short for us and him. But he hasn’t gotten what he needs just yet, but we know where he is going to be.

The Commentary:

I got started to think the pool in the dream was like the Void. For me, someone who has a lot of moving energy, being in the Void has sometimes a oppressive stillness to it. Particularly if I haven’t acclimated to it and traveled to it in awhile. So the stillness in the black pool made me think about the Void.

Then the other dream started to remind me in the end totally about the Dungeons and Dragons Campaign I am planning out. The tower I saw and the temple totally looked like a DnD scenery type location and I want to include it now with this interesting mysterious super villain that will over-arch the entire campaign. Muahaha!

Witchy/Pagan Study Schedule Part 2

I got things planned out for myself enough that I think I can be fairly successful with my study schedule. ^_^

I have set it up a weekly/daily schedule where I have my class stuff worked in plus drive times and sleep/prep/meal times. Granted the meal times probably won’t be followed closely but my aim is to hopefully make sure I am eating on a regular (and healthy) basis. I set up goals for 2016 and a short task list of things I need to do to sort of prep. I am definitely feeling the need to do a ritual cleansing, I think. Plus general winter (rather than spring) cleaning tasks.

Sometimes it is just motivating to have a set of tasks and goals established to move forward. I also set up a reading list to go along with my witchy/pagan study schedule. I will set up a casual reading list too (I actually set up a pages per day on The Hobbit last night so that will probably be the first book on my list).

Someone had recently posted about bullet journaling with witchcraft and tarot and the external site gave me an idea of what to incorporate in my own bullet journal to help facilitate this whole process along. I set up a checklist regarding altar and devotional related takes so that I remember to keep up with that in my practice. I am also including a quick daily tarot draw for January in it and I am thinking about doing a little 30 day minimalism challenge too. Just little things that got me inspire I guess. ^_^

I am tentatively planning to start my new course of study on Monday. The Solstice seems like a nice starting point for something like this.

Also, did some more looking up numerology stuff and this site will give you more. But I wanted to share what my personal year number and personal month numbers are and you’ll see why. (Note: I struck through the parts that didn’t really matter for me as much.)

Personal Year 5      A Mid-cycle Time to Make Adjustments and Changes

Personal Month 8      A period requiring a business-like attitude; may have to make tough decisions; an unexpected financial improvement could change a plan

DELIGHTFUL: Look for a wonderful move forward somewhere in your life right now. You are either reaping the rewards of past efforts, or motivated to be more focused, persevering, and self-disciplined. Given the possibility of sudden changes, don’t be surprised by an unexpected increase in income or the resolution of a pending legal matter or real estate issue. Job-wise, you may have a last-minute invitation to travel, or be eagerly awaiting the close of a tiring business trip. Real estate deals, moves, marriage concerns, or large purchases could be preoccupying your mind. Job seekers may have several opportunities that may pay off in the future. Those who have met the love of their life may be getting engaged. Married couple or partners may make a new decision about spending. Reflect on what you could do to make a productive change. With a clear intention, you will attract what you need. Optimism is free—and it greases the path for Law of Attraction. Try not to let cranky people upset your peace of mind. KEY: Self-control, faith in your process, and confidence in your abilities—along with a good supply of humor–help you through this challenging week.

Anyway. I just thought that made some sense. 😛

Witchy/Pagany Study Schedule

I am going to attempt to set up a study schedule for myself again. I have done this off and on in the past when I have had the time and want to give some dedicated time to different aspects of my path and craft, but I would often fall out of the habit. So here will be another attempt at.

Since I teach and have to dedicate time to actually meeting my face-to-face classes, and I have to grade and all that jazz, I am incorporating that into my schedule now. I figure, if I make that part of my routine over break the winter break when I try to start this study plan again, that may help when classes actually do begin. And maybe sticking to a routine and a schedule will help out my path funk.

I tended to feel more productive when I did that in the past. It made me sit down and dedicate time to certain tasks I had been meaning to work on throughout the week rather than binging on one at a time for days and then setting it aside for months.

By all means, I am much better at consistently doing things now than what I used to do. My meditations are some what more consistent/regular and I do spend a bit more time with devotion things granted it is usually just wearing a piece of jewelry and acknowledging the deity who it is designed for. I have been doing more little witchy things too on a more consistent basis and making sure I spend time on more crafty things.

So, I am not in a terribly bad or pathetic place right now, I just need to be more consistent in my practice. At least that is what I feel may be right for me. Maybe that consistency and scheduling my work out more will help give me a better idea of what it all will mean in the end.

I may need to add in a good spiritual cleansing for myself as well. The new year is almost here and that may be a perfect opportunity to shed some old funk and make more progress again.

Oh. And I just had an epiphany moment sitting here writing this. I had to double check my notes from the numerology class I took, but this year is my 14/5 year. According to the teacher who taught the class, we have several life changing years that crop up 2-5 time in our lifetime and they signal major shifts.

Last year was a 13/4 year, which is considered a year of destruction and change. Usually this is positive. A 12/3 year is when you think about the changes you want to make. And then the 14/5 year is where you analyze the changes you’ve made.

And what have I been doing a lot recently? Analyzing and pondering and wondering about a lot of things. I wasn’t even necessarily thinking about the changes I made but all these path changes really began more last year and are taking hold this year for me to analyze and see how they work.

Sometimes I forget about those little things but the synchronicity is quite nice to see.

Anyway, I will probably be planning out what my study schedule will be while I have some “down time” and hopefully I can get everything moving there soon enough. 🙂

The Enigma of My Existence

On and off for a while now, I had started contemplating and wondering more about what my path really is meant for. My roommate and I talk about various things all the time and one discussion that mentioned purpose triggered me to think about what my purpose was more. And I just can’t really figure it out for myself or put any words to it. There is a part I understand all too well, but another part that is still lost to me. And that whole thing created some personal confusion and lead to other thoughts and I felt like sharing. Continue reading