Booping God Feels and Shadow Work

I am not entirely sure how I wanted to begin this other than the fact that since the other day I joined in briefly with the Drowning in God Feels Thursdays my roommie Meritinpu has been doing over on Tumblr that it provoked me to write something about this.

Anyway. I don’t particularly fall into the category of “drowning” in god feels mostly, because, well, I tend to be fairly held back in my devotional feels for my deities. So I appropriately feel more like “booping the god feels” is more accurate to how my god feels present themselves. I lightly approach the feelings and I do enjoy seeing others god feels even if I don’t lose myself in them. It is in general how most of my feelings work. The unexpected nostalgia yesterday is one of those times my Scorpio moon bubbles over with emotions I am not prepared for.

Granted, this gets away from my intention to talk about one of the Things the Morrighan is always telling me to do. She has this habit that if I start to ask about the purpose of doing things she’ll respond with the quip that I need to do my shadow work and maybe I’ll find out why she is also having me work with Manannan on this navigating the Celtic Otherworlds. Even if I ask Manny when she isn’t there, she swoops in and says, “Nope. Do the work and maybe you’ll find out.” 😛

I honestly think Manny gets a kick out of it every time I ask him and she interrupts us. Even if she isn’t a part of the work I am doing that night with him, she inevitably appears at those moments when I ask. The longer I go, the more annoyed she gets about the fact I haven’t finished my shadow work. Which honestly is somewhat entertaining to make her annoyed and I think Lugh and Manny get a kick out of me trolling her by putting it off and they are even more amused that she’ll roll back by interrupting and telling me to get on the shadow work if I ever ask the purpose of my work with Manny.

But I suppose she is right and I do need to start doing more with my shadow work. I think the hit of nostalgia yesterday was another reminder that I needed to do some work with things. So I have added a new page in my bullet journal as a check list for the shadow work exercises I need to do from The Temple of Shamanic Witchcraft by Christopher Penczak I have been borrowing for a long while from my roommate. Plus I have a check list for a Tumblr 31-Day Shadow Work Challenge that incorporates Tarot and everything. I figure this will help remind me about things. 😛 Hopefully.

I am sure I will continue to be pestered by the Morrighan about it. Particularly if I even begin to ask Manny about something. It will be a matter of doing a little here and there on a more consistent basis. With Spring Break coming up, that will give me a good opportunity to definitely work harder on some of those things and get into a routine again. Maybe I’ll do a mini-retreat like I did last year. We’ll see. 😀

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Nostalgia Bites

Perhaps a little shadow work is definitely needed soon with this…

(from my other blog btw)

Truth Spark

A hard bite of nostalgia hit me this afternoon and left me with a bitter taste in my mouth. There are things I certainly miss about those days in that old Coven. There are things I miss terribly about college in general. But there are things that still leave me feeling bitter about the bad things and even the good.

This campus where I teach isn’t even remotely similar to the campus and halls of the building of my college. There is the age, for sure. But there is little else in common. Except the weather. Sometimes I love early spring. The shift in weather and temperature to chilly warmth. The longer days and sunnier weather. The starts of new buds on the trees.

But for some reason, this time of the year always makes me nostalgic too, and not always for the good times. There is a sense of a…

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My Bullet Journal

I know this doesn’t entirely relate to my path and all that, but I love my bullet journal and I figure I would share. I do use it for some aspects of my path, namely I started using it back in January to track devotional tasks and daily tarot pulls. I recently got my new Leuchtturm 1917 in the mail and I have been diligently setting it up and preparing to switch over to it for the start of March, so that was one of things I wanted to show off some of my layouts.

The last image is from my layout most related to things for this blog. I have a checklist for devotional tasks. There is altar/shrine care things and also general devotional things as well as path work. I’ll add my list of spirits and devotional tasks for them later I am sure. The other is my daily tarot log. I think in March I will switch to a new deck. Past two months I have used my Revelations Tarot and now I think it is time to for a switch.

As a another little bullet journal sample, the above three pictures are from my writing bujo. I was having fun with lettering when I did some of these. This is just a small sample. Several of the pages will have outlines and notes regarding the posts and creative writing pieces I am working on. But I am hoping that using these will help me stay organized and keep writing more consistently. 😀

But yeah. I have been so excited by my new Leuchtturm that I wanted to share some of these pages from my bullet journals. It helps motivate me a little more to do things right now.

Crystals Make My Day

I got some great finds at the GeoFest gem and mineral show at our state museum this weekend. I am super happy because of them. Super tons of thanks to my roommate Meritinpu because she actually helped point out most of them for me. 😛

I wanted to share them with you all and mention which ones are which. ^_^

 

These above two pictures are of the same two stones are both Jaspers. The one of the left (of both pictures) is Ocean Jasper and the one on the right is Kambaba Jasper which is also called Crocodile Jasper. I sorta picked both of these for Manannán mac Lir since one is obviously ocean related 😛 and the other still reminds me of him too. I really liked the piece of Ocean Jasper because it has two different colored sides. Both stones are actually very related to peace and tranquility and are good for meditation.

  

These two (from left to right) are Bog-wood and Shamanic Dream Stone (aka Lodolite aka Garden Quartz). Bog-wood is fossilized trees and such. Grabbed this one for Gerarian because it’s bog and wood…and…bog of eternal stench and that sort of thing. The Dream Stone necklace is because my tarot card pull yesterday was The Moon and it made me think I need to go find a stone for either dreams or a moonstone. Roommie found this one along with the bog-wood stone and yeah. Had to get it. Lodolite can help with communication with higher planes, grounding or connecting to the Earth, or connecting with dreams and vision quests. I look forward to playing with this one more.

  

Here is my new Rainbow Obsidian sphere and a pretty little Boulder Opal bracelet. I am so in love with this sphere by the way. It has a pretty eye spot and it vibrates pretty and makes me happy. So yeah, clearly it was calling me. 😛 It is a good size too and will be good for scrying I think. 😀 The bracelet is quite pretty. The middle stone is the Boulder Opal and then the other stones are Bronzite and Kyanite. Bronzite is good for protection, grounding and relieving indecision. Kyanite is good for communication, meditation, and psychic abilities. And Boulder Opal combines earth and fire energy and is great for spiritual things.

So yeah. I am quite happy.
Crystal metaphysical property information all comes from Crystal Vaults and Crystal-Cure.

 

Things I’ve Learned Over the Years About My Energy

Over the years I have learned a lot about myself on a metaphysical and spiritual level. I have learned a lot about how the world works in general and how things work for me in particular. I am still learning new things as I go along, but there is a lot I already know. So much of my journey over these years has been about figuring it out as I go along.

I do quite a lot of work that I just don’t talk about because of the personal or sensitive nature of things. That work has helped me learn quite a bit about myself, but there are a lot of things that I wish I had some advice or a guidebook on. No matter how many books or posts I find on astral work, there is never one that covers all of these things I have learned about myself and the way things work for me and the things I know about this world.

This post came about because I made a simple realization about the way my energy works. For the most part I always had that idea in my mind about how things work for me, but often it is at a subconscious level and I don’t think about it. I just do it and understand it. But they are always fun moments when I do think about it and have those sudden epiphanies. So, because of that, I wanted to write a little blurb about things I have learned over the years about how energy works for me.

  • My dreams often give hints to past lives, parallel lives, astral work, and other weird things that I can’t entirely explain. And over the years I’ve learned to pay more attention to them, sift through to determine what sort of dream it is, and use that information for my personal growth.
  • Astral travel, for me, does not often involved “out-of-body experiences.” Usually it happens during my sleep or meditation when I sit down to do it.
  • I don’t black out or lose connection to my body when I channel another or let past lives take over my body when I go do astral work. A part of my consciousness always stays with my body. This makes it harder, sometimes, to recall my metaphysical and astral work but it doesn’t mean it isn’t real or didn’t happen.
  • Writing helps me pull memories from past lives and astral work.
  • I don’t need to remember all details of things on the astral to know I’ve done my astral work.
  • I am better at remembering things than I give myself credit for and usually it has to do with laziness or lack of sitting down to remember that is the reason for my not remembering.
  • The main means for me to feel and manipulate energy is through my hands and threads.
  • I am more proficient at shielding and energy work than I realized ten years ago.
  • I am good at walling people off.
  • I can be very low-key with my energy to where others won’t notice me or be able to find me unless I want them to. This is why I was never attacked or hunted like others were.
  • But on the flip side of that, because of my elemental energy, I am able to charge other people’s abilities and essential give them power ups. When I want I can project a lot of energy. I am constantly producing energy that I can loan out and everything. Although I sometimes do feel drained.
  • Every now and then I need to discharge my energy from my hands, through activity, or grounding to maintain balance since I do create a lot of energy (even if it can be low-key). Sometimes that involves astral fight club.
  • I can use different clair abilities, but they work a little differently and some take more practice to develop.
  • I can do tarot and divination really well and do not need someone “who knows how to put the energy into the cards” to do it.
  • I don’t need to know all the details of how I work to be able to do them.
  • On the same lines, I don’t have to always consciously create/do something for it to happen (like shielding).
  • I have some technopathic abilities because of my electricity element. So I can make technology work better, although there are times when I overload electronics.
  • My mood can affect the way I work my energy.
  • I pick up more psychically than I realized and I can pull that information later if I need to sift through it.
  • I need sleep and food to properly function. I also need sex and to raise and use my energy on a regular basis. Whether it is metaphysical/astral or physical, it needs to occur fairly frequently so that my energy stays balanced.
  • I am also a polyamorous panromantic pansexual because of my pixie nature so multiple astral partners sometimes helps with making sure my energy works properly since I do not have a current physical partner.
  • I sometimes need to be more people to feel not only energized but also connected. This is partially because I am an extrovert, but also simply because of my energy. While I do like alone time and me time, if I spend too much time alone or isolated, I get weird and unbalanced and need to go out and work with people.
  • I am very observant, both psychically and mundanely, and I tend to pick up more things that I am supposed. This makes it easy for me to sense if someone else is being channeled and subtle switches between past lives. Some things I don’t realize I pick up, but I can pull that psychic information later.
  • I still don’t pay enough attention to my intuition as I should, but when I do I feel like I do better on my path. I have an innate truth reading ability that helps when I do pay attention.
  • This truth reading probably contributes a lot to my ability to figure out things that I am not explicitly told and understand people’s weird motivations for things.
  • I have a really good connection to crystals and I am able to identify a lot of them and what purposes they would be good for.
  • I can compartmentalize a great deal which helps me maintain an objective view of things. Sometimes this makes me closed off or appear emotionless. Though, today I can get much more emotional and touched by little things than I used to before I began doing all this spiritual work.

Overall, these are things that I have learned about myself over the last ten years. Some are more recent. Some are older. I am sure there are some things I am forgetting. One thing about this, more than anything else, it helps remind me that I am more gifted than I often give myself credit for. That these little things with how my energy works, reminds me I am a very capable witch and I have come a lot further on my path than I often think I have. So, more than anything, this was for me. To give myself credit where I need it.

The Crow

This morning I decided I was going to go ahead and get going a little faster than usual. More or less. 😛

After I got dressed and started fixing my oatmeal this morning, I started to hear the cawing. Now, crows are not entirely unusual in our area, but now and then when my roommate and I are talking about something there is a too well timed caw that interrupts us. Or there will be something on my mind and then a caw or crows flying around. I don’t usually hear crows cawing when I am inside the house though.

I didn’t really pay much attention initially. Because, again, they aren’t unusual where I live and I was more concerned about the consistency of my oatmeal. But then my cat went on alert. He usually likes to chirp at little song birds and robins, and I have never seen him take an interest in crows before. He was unusually much more quiet this morning while my roommate was still in her room and when he heard the crow cawing out back he did his spaz run to the back window and the dog’s couch to look out the window. He did the little cat chirps to the crow that sat in the branches of the neighbor’s tree that lined our yard. And it kept cawing back.

It just seemed to signal a little more than just a bird hanging out by our house. A little confirmation, perhaps. And then my daily tarot pull was the 8 of Cups from my Revelations Tarot. It is about making a movement to leave behind emotional stress. To walk away from that which does not serve any more. That, today, with the Morrigan calling out, we reached the end of this and can eventually make room for more.

And now Clair de Lune is playing on my Pandora on my phone. A song that has a great deal of past life significance for me. Not necessarily related to leaving behind and walking away, but, I don’t know. It just seems like an appropriate song to hear right now.

Also, I dreamed about Gerarian last night. At least in one part of my dream. 😛

Dream Log 2.2.16 sorta

This won’t entirely be like my typical dream logs. Mostly because there isn’t a whole lot to discuss about this dream in particular. It just made me think about things. Things that have happened the last ten or so years.

People from my past show up in my dreams now and again. People I don’t talk to anymore. People who did have a major impact on who I am today. People I sometimes still have issues with. I think quite a few times, these dreams with these people are simple reminders that there may be some underlying issue I still have with the person. Other times they may be astral bump-ins.

Last night’s dream someone showed up that hasn’t shown up in my dreams in quite a while. Not since, well, before I left my old college coven in 2011. If she had shown up in dreams since then I don’t really remember them. But in the old ones between 2009 and 2011, those dreams were always rather blatant in showing my distaste for her.

I don’t often talk about those things on this blog. I save those things for my other, memoir blog truthspark8.wordpress.com. But I think there may be some need to mention more here although not full details yet.

Jessica, or Nicole as I call her over on my other blog, betrayed our college coven. And more specifically she helped betray our coven’s leader and my college roommate, but it caused a deep-seeded rift in our coven that eventually caused the rest of the coven’s breakdown over the next few years.

So there was a great deal of animosity toward her during that time. My dreams reflected it. Angry words were spoken in the dreams. Punches thrown. A lovely cathartic feeling upon waking. And eventually the dreams with her slowed down and stopped. There were a few later that showed the change for the better. She was there, but no animosity. No confrontations.

After I left my college coven, I began dreaming about my college roommate, Allison, in much the same way. The hurt I felt from what happened there was far different and much more lasting. Hell, there are times when I do still dream about her and there is still animosity felt. Some dreams there was enough of a catharsis that later her appearances were just to be there, and show that change before those feelings bubbled back up and the dreams showed the animosity again. But that happens far less frequently than it used to.

It was surprising though that Jessica appeared again in my dream. She ignored me, but I greeted her and another friend from college that I don’t really talk to anymore. The two of them are friends so it makes sense. And the friend did acknowledge me and greeted me warmly.

While nothing about that is too remarkable, it just made me think about the people that show up in my dreams. How it often shows some shadow work I do through my dreams or at least what shadow work I still have yet to do. So I felt like sharing a bit about that. 🙂