A Lot of Changes

This past month started a lot of crazy changes for me. I made the decision to start looking for an apartment to live to eventually try starting a little bookshop. I have since applied to one that is low income housing that I can get a lower rate at, but the process has become quite tedious considering my employment teaching is essentially contract based and has been a pain to verify for the housing people. But they have been trying very hard to get me approved. It has just been a long waiting game right now. I hope to hear soon either way.

Because of the apartment, and knowing that my income has been a bit less than last year, I decided I really needed a part time job. While I applied for a job at a New Age shop back in January, I never heard back. It made me disappointed, but I decided it would be a good idea to try elsewhere. I couldn’t wait forever on that. So I reapplied back at Starbucks at a couple locations near where I would potentially be moving. Even if I didn’t get the apartment I decided I’d move back home with my parents to help save up some money and help my parents around their house again. I heard back fairly quickly from a Starbucks and went in for the interview and accepted the job. They have good insurance and benefits and I had worked there before. I thought it would be a good fit again to go back.

Then, on my second day working, I get a call from the New Age shop asking me to come in for an interview. I was so excited and readily accepted their offer of a second interview. I thought, two 20 hour part time jobs could work with teaching and everything. I could do it. Of course, I sort of forget I have hit 30 now and that ambition of working that much was a little of a stretch. I am still not even finished with this semester of classes and these last two weeks have been so exhausting with scheduling issues and everything that I made the decision to drop one of the jobs.

For me, working at this New Age shop is the epitome of my desires in general and the work I wish to do in life. I have put so much work these last 12 years with all the crazy from college and then the more directed spiritual work afterwards, that I want something where I can show that work off somehow instead of constantly hiding behind a facade of mundane things the majority of my life. These things I am so passionate about, and now I work at a place where I can be upfront about that passion instead of quiet and reserved because the people who I am around might not get it.

There will be strange ones that come in. As the one owner said, shops like these attract a lot of healers and those that need healing in some way. But there will also be a ton of kindred spirits that come in that I can share my expertise with and help find what it is they need to heal. This store has been such a source of healing and spiritual guidance for me since college that I want to share that with others.

I felt bad initially about how I am leaving Starbucks, but at the same time, that life there has long since passed. I may not get the benefits anymore, but my continued growth is not there. It is with this other shop. This shop that I fell in love with back during 2007 when I first went to a meditation class with my Anam Cara who had heard about it from their co-worker. It has helped me so much in my path. Starbucks had only been a mundane means to an end back when I was 24.

I feel liberated and free again right now. Working this past week at this shop has uplifted me more than I expected. After a little anxiety about trying to maintain both until I was no longer on the schedule at Starbucks, I made a decision that has truly made me feel like I am on the right track again. The potential move into my own apartment is exciting and I can’t wait to find out about getting in. If things don’t work out with it, I have other options. Things are moving forward again on my path and these mundane things are helping that.

I felt trapped and stuck for quite awhile with various things and these changes are good. Too much of the same has been a detriment to my growth and development and I want to grow again. It has taken a bit to realize where these things are that needed changed, but I feel the movement again I have needed to feel again. And that movement gives me hope.

So here are to some continuing changes. I have some other posts I need to write up soon, and hopefully I will get to them by the end of the month. Till next time. ❤️

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