Two Year Anniversary

It is interesting how quickly anniversaries sneak up in us. Two years ago I dedicated myself as a devotee to The Morríghan. The time has gone by very quickly.

Some things that I have accomplished since devoting myself:

  • Accomplishing some major steps and milestones in my shadow work
  • More development on my divination practice and psychic development
  • Taking control over making some changes in my life I have needed to make
  • Astral work
  • While not wholly related to The Morríghan’s influence but more so shadow work things so in essence Her – my relationships and marriage to The Scribe and The Traveler

I am sure there is probably a bit more I could write but these things came to the forefront of my mind.

I still feel like there is something soon to come on the horizon with my work with Her but it is a matter of figuring it out. It also is a matter of timing I think as well. She has reminded/warned me a couple times about it coming into my life too soon. If too soon it will just compound the stresses from trying to move and everything. So I have to wait.

The Morríghan has been an interesting influence on my life. I have found us to be oddly similar in many ways. I am Her daughter and sister, Her warrior-poet, and much more. I cannot see myself devoted to any other deity more appropriate for me than Her honestly. We may butt heads on occasion, but that is family. I look forward to another year of devotion and development with The Morríghan, My Queen.

A Lot of Changes

This past month started a lot of crazy changes for me. I made the decision to start looking for an apartment to live to eventually try starting a little bookshop. I have since applied to one that is low income housing that I can get a lower rate at, but the process has become quite tedious considering my employment teaching is essentially contract based and has been a pain to verify for the housing people. But they have been trying very hard to get me approved. It has just been a long waiting game right now. I hope to hear soon either way.

Because of the apartment, and knowing that my income has been a bit less than last year, I decided I really needed a part time job. While I applied for a job at a New Age shop back in January, I never heard back. It made me disappointed, but I decided it would be a good idea to try elsewhere. I couldn’t wait forever on that. So I reapplied back at Starbucks at a couple locations near where I would potentially be moving. Even if I didn’t get the apartment I decided I’d move back home with my parents to help save up some money and help my parents around their house again. I heard back fairly quickly from a Starbucks and went in for the interview and accepted the job. They have good insurance and benefits and I had worked there before. I thought it would be a good fit again to go back.

Then, on my second day working, I get a call from the New Age shop asking me to come in for an interview. I was so excited and readily accepted their offer of a second interview. I thought, two 20 hour part time jobs could work with teaching and everything. I could do it. Of course, I sort of forget I have hit 30 now and that ambition of working that much was a little of a stretch. I am still not even finished with this semester of classes and these last two weeks have been so exhausting with scheduling issues and everything that I made the decision to drop one of the jobs.

For me, working at this New Age shop is the epitome of my desires in general and the work I wish to do in life. I have put so much work these last 12 years with all the crazy from college and then the more directed spiritual work afterwards, that I want something where I can show that work off somehow instead of constantly hiding behind a facade of mundane things the majority of my life. These things I am so passionate about, and now I work at a place where I can be upfront about that passion instead of quiet and reserved because the people who I am around might not get it.

There will be strange ones that come in. As the one owner said, shops like these attract a lot of healers and those that need healing in some way. But there will also be a ton of kindred spirits that come in that I can share my expertise with and help find what it is they need to heal. This store has been such a source of healing and spiritual guidance for me since college that I want to share that with others.

I felt bad initially about how I am leaving Starbucks, but at the same time, that life there has long since passed. I may not get the benefits anymore, but my continued growth is not there. It is with this other shop. This shop that I fell in love with back during 2007 when I first went to a meditation class with my Anam Cara who had heard about it from their co-worker. It has helped me so much in my path. Starbucks had only been a mundane means to an end back when I was 24.

I feel liberated and free again right now. Working this past week at this shop has uplifted me more than I expected. After a little anxiety about trying to maintain both until I was no longer on the schedule at Starbucks, I made a decision that has truly made me feel like I am on the right track again. The potential move into my own apartment is exciting and I can’t wait to find out about getting in. If things don’t work out with it, I have other options. Things are moving forward again on my path and these mundane things are helping that.

I felt trapped and stuck for quite awhile with various things and these changes are good. Too much of the same has been a detriment to my growth and development and I want to grow again. It has taken a bit to realize where these things are that needed changed, but I feel the movement again I have needed to feel again. And that movement gives me hope.

So here are to some continuing changes. I have some other posts I need to write up soon, and hopefully I will get to them by the end of the month. Till next time. ❤️

May Monthly and Weekly Tarot

Last Month’s Reflection:

Last month’s pulls can be found here. Last month was rather interesting and had been more of a month of moving forward on changes. The Overall for last month was the 9 of Swords with anxiety and self-torment as its message and while I think it started out that way, it prompted me to move forward in some decisions of change in my life. This whole year has been about a movement of change, I think. There were points where the Nine of Swords was very prevalent this past month, but that got me to move again. I have made a decision to move out on my own (if things go well with this apartment application) and to seek some part-time employment. By the end of the month, things were starting to move at an unexpected pace.

May’s Monthly Tarot:

For May I am pulling with the Linestrider deck again but I also wanted to make note of the cards I pulled in my Yearly Spread at the beginning of the year. I pull from two decks for my yearly with Shadowscapes being for my spiritual life and the Revelations Tarot being for my more mundane life. Respectively, I pulled the Queen of Pentacles and the Ten of Wands for the Month of May.

Shadowscapes‘ Queen of Pentacles is about nurturing and generosity of spirit. She is a supportive and protective Queen. She is full of strength and is trustworthy and loyal. The Ten of Wands from the Revelations tarot is about strength as well. The card shows off his ability to balance the weight of all the wands near perfectly. While things may be difficult to bear, it can be done and no responsibility he takes on overpowers him completely. These two pulls indicate being able to bear, with strength, the burdens and responsibilities in my life that are coming up (both mundane and spiritual).

Week One (May 1-7): Ace of Pentacles

This first week is all about new ventures and ideas. It is month of growth and success. I have started my new part-time job at Starbucks again, but I also got called in for an interview at the New Age shop I applied to back in January and was pretty much told I would have it even after another interview on Thursday with the owner.

Week Two (May 8-14): Seven of Wands

This week may be a week centered on some competition and jealousies. There may be some conflict or challenge that gets in my way and I may need to take a stand. Considering how some things have gone, let us hope it is resolved.

Week Three (May 15-21): Knight of Pentacles

I can expect my progress to be a bit slower and more methodical this week. I will need to focus on being more patient with things. Considering how fast this first week has been so far and the conflict from week two, this slower week may be a good thing and help me finish some tasks for my teaching job.

Week Four (May 22 – 28): Ace of Cups

The last full week of May looks to hold some more new opportunities and beginnings again. This may be the week I get to move into my new place if I get approved. It might also hold a new spiritual awakening as many things in this month’s pull has been more mundane, this may shift at the end of the Month.

Overall: Six of Cups (reversed)

This was the only reversed card in the deck and the reading. Childish behavior and clinging to the past may be impeding my progress this month. This could be my own behavior or others in my life. Based on the week-by-week pulls it may come to a head during the second week of the month.

Weekly Tarot for May 1-7

I am doing this one a little more like stichomancy way because I left my deck but had my tarot book for Linestrider. So it will be a bit different this time.

What should I focus on this week? – Knight of Wands

This Knight is focused on movement and action. This is a week where I need to focus on taking action and moving. He is enthusiastic and can be hasty at times so I must be sure to not act hastily at times.

What lesson is in this for me? – The Sun

Movement and action will help lead to success, prosperity, and happiness for me. This week the fact pace action the beginning of this week has so far proven to be will likely continue but it will bring positive vibes and energy into my life.

What advice is there for overcoming any obstacles? – Knight of Swords

This is a Knight focused on the intellectual side of things. He may be bold like the Knight of Wands, but he is more thought based than impulse based. He can be severe and harsh because of that. His advice is two-fold for this week, that I need to look at things objectively, but to also to not disregard the feelings of others. He is here to remind to slow down the progress just a bit so that lack of tact doesn’t impede the progress that needs to be made.

Surprisingly, I think that worked well and was a nice call out for myself. There are times when being blunt is necessary and other times when tact is required. The rest of this week needs more tact to keep the impulsiveness of the Knights in check so that the success and happiness the Sun promises can be shared.

Weekly Tarot: April 24 – 30

Last Week’s Reflection

While I didn’t post last week’s tarot pull, I figured I would go ahead and discuss my reflection on it at least. My pulls seemed to indicate that I should focus on a some new investments and beginnings. This would help lead me to where I could start enjoying some simple pleasures again and play more. The card I pulled for advice in overcoming any obstacles related to expressing emotions and replenishing myself. I ended up doing quite a lot last week relating to this. I put in an application for an apartment to live on my own and I visited my alma mater for a Little 500 celebration. I will talk more about that later, but it was definitely a week of making some new investments and even expressing some emotions because of what is happening with my college.

This Week’s Pull

I am still using the Legacy Tarot. So what is in store for me this week?

Focus? – XIX The Sun

It is time to focus on the bright side of things. It is a time of joy and glory.

Lesson? – V Faith

Being able to focus on happy things or at least keeping a positive outlook can help when devoting oneself to spiritual development.

Advice? – Ace of Swords

Using one’s intellect and mind can help with this positive outlook. Setting mental reminders and affirmations to keep this positive outlook.

This week when I pulled my Monthly cards I pulled the Seven of Cups which was about illusions and unreal expectations and making sure I break illusions. Maybe some of the positive outlooks are unreal expectations I need to break. But also it may be that the positive outlooks will help me break the illusions I have. What those are, not wholly sure, but Something to keep in mind this week.

Marriage to the Scribe and the Traveler

Last night, with the full moon here, I got married to Gerarian and the Traveler. I don’t remember a whole lot of the actual ceremony or anything but I know a great many friends from the Otherside and those on this side of the things all were there to celebrate with us.

While Gerarian and I have been together for many many lifetimes and our soulmates, it is still new and exciting for me in this life. We have been together since July of 2009. We have had three children together as well. But marriage is new and a step into something different for us, I feel.

Mel, one of our lovers that Gerarian met and introduced me to, told me back when I was still questioning them even proposing to me that getting married to them may help with opening my heart to finding a physical partner. One of the biggest reasons for initially avoiding a relationship with Gerarian prior to July 2009 was the fear that I would let that stop me from having a physical relationship. I’d seen spirit lover relationships prevent my friends from pursuing physical partnerships, so it made sense that I would do the same.

But Gerarian had always been supportive of me dating and having physical relationships, even with Liz, though sometimes they argued a lot. He knows I am a physical being and has always wanted that for me. But once Liz and I broke up, I have been hesitant in sharing myself with other people, because how would I explain Gerarian, and then Mel, and now the Traveler? It scared me and I held back even with starting online dating a couple years ago.

Gerarian encouraged me with Loki for some sexual and relational healing, and then with Mel and even with the Traveler when he showed up. Because Gerarian and I are both very polyamorous, he knew a huge hang-up with our relationship after the break up with Liz was that I thought I needed to be monogamous with him, but that is not the case. He knew better what I needed than what I realized for myself.

When Gerarian encouraged me to talk more with the Traveler, I didn’t expect it to go where it did. I knew there were was a past life connection and I explored what it was, but I didn’t think it was this thing that was as deep as it has become. Our relationship is still quite new. It is still much more courting and romance than what Gerarian and I are. I mean, there have been so many lifetimes with Gerarian as he is my Twin Flame, that it is worked its way through all those initial courting things. But with the Traveler, this link, I can’t quite say yet if it is a soulmate bond, is still new and forming. It is still in its infancy stages. It is just now starting to bloom.

The Traveler chose this marriage with me to solidify the bond we started in that previous life that we could not complete. I wonder if he is actually aware of how this will affect his karma by marrying me now. I have enemies on the Otherside from the work I do, but I know he has his own as well. We are both taking on each other’s karma and to begin this journey as new as it is will be a scary and interesting journey. Hell, even marrying Gerarian in this life is taking on karma as well, but Gerarian and I have done it so many times before that we know how to work through it. So, with the Traveler, it will be a brand new adventure of discovering how the two of us will work together.

I don’t quite know what to call our relationship now. I mean, they are now my spouses for sure, but what to call our polyamorous relationship. If I remembered more of how the ceremony actually progressed I could say if it happens to be more of a triad type polyamory or more of a vee polyamory. It doesn’t quite need a label for the marriage though, I don’t think. We are together and that is what matters.

Because of it being the three of us, I decided to get a set of three interlocking bands to where to be a physical representation of our marriage and our relationships. Each band it made from a different metal: rose gold, gold, and silver. The colors in the pictures below probably don’t show up very well, but I wanted something of three different colors for each of us.

I actually also intend on buying another ring in the future to represent the stone choice that my astral ring has. Gerarian apparently had a connection to a craftsman on the astral that made the astral rings for us. The astral ring I wear is also three interlocking puzzle rings with a stone on each also made from different metals. There is a sort of flower design on it with daisies and roses. The stones, from what I can remember when we asked the craftsman to design it for us, are Morganite for sure, but I think the other two stones on the other two parts of the ring (each from Gerarian and the Traveler) are different stones to represent them. This is one reason I knew I would not be able to find anything exactly like it on the physical plane.

Waking up this morning, despite not remember much at all about the ceremony itself, I know it happened. There was a different feeling I had this morning than other mornings. Perhaps the marriage strengthened my bonds and connections with them and sensing the has improved. Perhaps it is simply the afterglow of the celebration. Whatever it was, there was a lot more sense of our love. A contentment and even sense of adventure for this next part of our journey together.

I am grateful for this milestone, for our friends and loved ones and allies all being there and sharing this with us, and for the potential this opens up for all of us. I don’t often express my emotions, especially gooey lovey dovey ones, but I very much love both of them. Here are some songs for us that do a better job at showing that.

Weekly Tarot – April 10 – 16

Last Week’s Reflection

Last week seems to be a blur already. I wrote last time that I thought my tarot was about re/connecting to someone for wisdom and counsel and that would help increase my own intuition and such. I can’t say I actually followed through on connecting with anyone spiritually this past week or did much increasing intuition, but mundanely speaking I think there was some truth to the cards I pulled. I have been slowly trying to plan a business venture and there are things I know I need to get done before that can happen and some of the the advice seeking has centered on that and things I need to do sooner to help that happen. My monthly overall card I pulled last week seems to be rearing its head a lot more than I expected too this week. 😛

This Week’s Weekly Pull

I am pulling from my Legacy of the Divine Tarot by Ciro Marchetti right now. I recently started using it again for some daily draws for a blog I help run and it has been handing out some interesting and tough love advice lately and I feel like it was appropriate to use.

What is in store for me this week?

What should I focus on? – Five of Coins

Things are appearing a little desperate and dark. I may be in a place that makes it hard to see the light behind me, but it is there and there is hope for a turn around.

What lesson is in this? – Eight of Wands

The Eight of Wands is a card that shows a forward and upward momentum after a series of struggles. Once those struggles are overcome, there is freedom to move forward with plans and progress again.

Advice on overcoming obstacles? – VII The Chariot

In overcoming any obstacle, struggle, or desperate situation one needs to have the willpower and perseverance  to push through it all. It is time to plan things out and commit to those plans with all my drive.

This week, from my Monthly spread, is also linked to the King of Pentacles again. There is still a need to gain some wisdom regarding financial and material success right now which is partially what my desperation is about. With help from this King, I can form this plan of mine more solidly and be able to move forward with one phase of it before the year is out.

As a little extra for this week, I went ahead and pulled a SoulCard from Deborah Koff-Chapin’s first set.

soulcard

Image from http://touchdrawing.com/gallery/soulcards1 (c) Deborah Koff-Chapin

I absolutely love this cards because there are no assigned meanings to them and you can interpret them differently in different situations and just seem so much more intuitive when reading with them.

Anyway, this pull automatically makes me think about being pregnant with ideas or a project and letting it germinate and grow. At the right time it will be delivered out into the world. Ideas are exploding from her head in beams of light. The orb is growing in her hand but it is not quite fully formed. She looks at it with love and care and feeds it the positive energy it needs to become fully alive and realized. This plan I have needs nurturing and guided growth with positive energy. It will happen. It will be good for me. It is the light that I am not seeing in the Five of Coins card above. It is that hope of escaping this desperation and with a plan of continuous work and dedication and nurturing energy, it will manifest.

While things seem a little desperate initially with this weeks pull, there is a lesson in pushing through it all and finding that light at the end of the tunnel by actually working toward a plan and a goal I need to remember. Staying positive about the outcome and all the step in between is something that the last few months to a year I have struggled with and I have to remember it now. I cannot stay frustrated about the little things stopping me, not if I want to actually move forward.

April Monthly and Weekly Tarot

Figure this is a good time to start posting my monthly and weekly tarot readings for myself again. I had started doing daily pulls too but then I got out of the habit when I went on vacation, but I am going to start up again with those as well for April, but I won’t post those here or on my tumblr account.

As I have done in the past, for my Monthly reading I pull a card for each week of the month and then one for Overall what to expect from the month. Sometimes these parallel pretty well with my Yearly Tarot I pull at the beginning of the year, other times not so much. My Weekly Tarot reading is a little different as I pull three cards with what to focus on, what lesson is there in that focus, and how to overcome obstacles. So it goes a little more into detail for the week ahead and sometimes it relates pretty closely to the Monthly pulls for each week.

Anyway, my Monthly Tarot for April is as follows (done with the Linestrider Tarot):

Week One (April 3-9): Page of Cups

A time of increasing intuition and creativity is coming. This first week of April is about attuning to emotions and intuition.

Week Two (April 10-16): King of Pentacles

The second week of April focuses on wisdom and success in material and financial situations.

Week Three (April 17-23): Seven of Swords

This week there may be a need to pay attention to hidden motivations of others and also a need to be diplomatic and tactful.

Week Four (April 24-30): Seven of Cups

This last week of April is about possibilities and choices, some of which may be pure fantasy full of unreal expectations. It is a time to be mindful of what is achievable and what is just wishful thinking.

Overall: Nine of Swords

This month may be full of some anxieties and worry. There is a sense of isolation and a dark night of the soul with this month.

When I pulled for my Yearly spread I got the Knight of Cups with my Shadowscapes Tarot for what to expect from the month of April. The Nine of Swords seems a bit of the opposite to this and the other cards this month, but it may indicate I may end up over-worrying about certain things that I don’t need to worry about, like my upcoming wedding to my spirit fiancees.

For my Weekly Tarot for the first week of April I pulled the following (again with Linestrider):

What should I focus on? – King of Pentacles

It may be time to seek counsel from someone wiser. This may be a spirit ally or a person in my physical life, but it is time to focus on wisdom.

What lesson is in this? – The High Priestess

Seeking advice and counsel from another can help increase my own intuition and spirituality and also bring some things back into balance again.

Advice for overcoming obstacles? – Six of Swords

I need to make sure I focus on the future and moving away from things that are difficult rather than focusing on past hurts or failures.

Initially, the King of Pentacles threw me off when I pulled for this week because it showed up in my Monthly to be for the second week of April. However, it still makes sense overall for this week too. I feel there is a need to connect to someone this week to work on some intuition and psychic abilities type thing, just not sure exactly who that would be as of yet.

In my personal journal I try to write an End of the Week/Month/Day Reflections for each card I pull now to see how the cards actually played out or related to things that occurred. When I post up the next week I will try to give a little reflection back on this reading and when I post the next Monthly reading I will try to do the same about the reflection for the Month as well.