Vacation on the West Coast

Last week my roommate and I went on a friend-cation with two of our really good friends. I have been to California before but it was Southern California and for a conference and I really didn’t enjoy it. But this time…omg. Such a different experience.

We unplugged, for the most part, from technology. I turned off almost all my notifications save for texts and calls in case something did come up when we were doing our separate things or to hear about my cat back home. But no internet for things. No email. No worrying about my mundane job and life. Just being out there in the Redwoods.

I have been to the sea plenty of times. Often went to Florida for summers when I was younger. I enjoyed them for the most part, but it was always bustling with lots of people and it was just a little too, I can’t quite describe the word for it, but just not as it could be with all the people there.

But on our two trips to two different beaches near our cabin in the Redwoods, it was a much different experience. Maybe east coast sunrises are just different and not the same as evening sunsets on the west coast, but I was so at peace. For me, Manannán was there. I associate him so much more with a western facing shoreline than anything else. Sun setting over the ocean. Waves crashing and roaring in the ears. The winds blowing my hair wild. Those moments I want to relieve again.

The one shore was more typical of beaches I have been. It was quite lovely. More driftwood than I have seen before and lots of stones perfect for skipping. But the second beach was a black sands beach and…that was quite a spiritual experience. The marijuana probably aided that too. But sitting on a large rock above the crashing waves, so much like my bliss area I go during meditations, and the mists rolling down the mountains, it was such a liminal space.

I don’t like touristy/vacationy beaches where people go to sunbathe and swim in the ocean and are overcrowded. But beaches like those with rocks and cold, wild waters with few visitors, those are the ones I enjoy. The wild peace of the ocean is found at those. The places where Land and Sea meet the Sky in all their untamed glory that allow us to slip so easily between the realms. The liminal places of this earth.

There were so many crows out there too. They were always so chatty, so much more than back home. We climbed a hilly cemetary one day and a whole murder of crows were chatting up storms up at the top. The Morrighan was quite near.

And the Redwoods themselves were gorgeous. It was quite another world there. A Faery World as my one friend calls it. The whole trip out in nature was quite awe inspiring. There is so much I would want to say but I can’t fully find the words to say any of it. I just know that that is one place I am glad I got to visit and see in my lifetime. It was refreshing and inspiring.

I hope to be able to pull on the rejuvenation I gained from that trip for the next few weeks and months back at school. I need something to get me through these classes this semester for sure and that trip will be it.

Salve Regina

I meant to write a couple days ago. However, things were busy with my family so I had to postpone this until now.

I forgot to mention in my post here about how in my reading from John, a card indicated looking back on my childhood spirituality and bringing something forward into my current spirituality. Immediately, as he started saying that, I thought about the rosary. I didn’t often say the rosary, but it has always been one of my favorite aspects of my Catholic upbringing.

When I was confirmed my Sophomore or Junior year of college, my aunt (who sponsored me), gave me a gift. She said she knew it wasn’t the prettiest rosary, but it was her mother’s (my maternal grandmother’s). I thought it was gorgeous. It is probably the one rosary I pull out on a consistent basis to look at or old. For one, it was my grandmother’s and it serves as a connection to her. The other reason is that I actually keep it where I can access it fairly quickly.

My grandmother’s rosary.

Anyway, I figured it wouldn’t be a bad idea to start saying the rosary again as a regular part of my practice. Especially with Lent rolling around Wednesday I can take up the practice for the time period and see how that helps progress my spiritual path.

I am by no means throwing out other aspects of my pagan path. I have always had a great deal of love for my Catholic roots and I just didn’t, for the longest time, really incorporate it into my practice as I have always aimed to. Praying the rosary is very centering and very meditative. It is a way for my to connect with my Catholic ancestors and the tradition of it has always made me feel something. And that is something that I think is important for me right now.

I am actually looking forward to spending some time with the rosary now.

When I Go All Silver Grey

I have been trying to figure out what my tag #when I go all silver grey means for me the last few months that I have been using it. It has taken me awhile, but some things are coming together little by little.

I have always been the Storm,
the Spark.
Lightning runs in my Veins.
As I grow older,
that Lightning comes out
through my hair in Silver strands.
One day, when I go all Silver Grey,
I will return to that Storm.
The Storm that builds around me
and I will be the Lightning that Strikes
the Tower down.
The Waters will carry me on this Journey
across the Otherworlds,
a lone traveler surrounded by
the Life of Ages gone by.
The Beauty of the world will follow
me when I go
and the Threads will pull back together,
the Tapestry finished
with only One to remember its purpose.
When I go all Silver Grey,
will I remember my name?

Schedule and Routine

I have talked before about my bullet journal here and how I incorporate it into my spiritual path. It is actually one of my most popular posts interestingly enough. Anyway, I have modified how I use it now for spiritual stuff. Mostly because I have a habit of being really bad at keeping track of things, but I have started doing a little better recently.

One thing I have started to incorporate is using an ideal schedule/routine to keep me on target with things. If I stay mostly within the parameters of the schedule, I feel like I do a good job of being productive that day. I would show off what mine looks like but I am honestly too lazy at the moment to take the picture or edit it for you. However, there are plenty of ideas for one on Pinterest and Instagram.

I actually recently tossed out my devotional tracker again and just went with a simple “devotional” task space for my monthly habit tracker instead. I have gotten to the point I know what would constitute as such so repeatedly writing down the full tracker every month has just gotten tedious. And bullet journaling and devotional tasks really shouldn’t be that tedious. I think in my next journal I will make things even more simple and less repetitive by having devotional routine set up in my “routine collections” at the start of my BuJo.

Some of that routine involves me writing more. I know, I know, I know. I keep saying I will do this and everything but I am so notorious at not sticking with it. I really need to do it this time. That Storm I mentioned in my previous post almost assuredly requires me to keep writing. One chunk of that writing relates to my “memoir” blog and finishing my story there. Another chunk of writing I want to do is to get back to talking about things involving my personal path. Not everything, mind you, as some of that is too private and sensitive to discuss. But some things. I also just want to write for pleasure again. That has still been quite difficult to do though.

I don’t know how well I will stick with it, but I hope to post at least twice a week initially. Once for my memoir blog and then once over here. I don’t know which days of the week that will be at first, but if all goes well I aim to write more than that.

I also plan on doing a bit more tarot again. I enjoyed posting them before, but I just got out of the habit when things got too busy. I have some goals related to tarot that I am currently trying to aim for, so hopefully posting tarot again may help get me there.

Anyway, those are some goals and intentions I am wanting to put into motion right now. I am hoping with this semester being less busy, it will help keep me on track more. I hope. 😛

My Anniversary with My Phantom Queen

The other night I realized that the anniversary of my devotion to the Morrígan was coming up quicker than I realized. It was yesterday actually. I meant to do something last night, but that never really happened. But despite that and how busy things have been on multiple fronts, I know I needed to say something here.

Overall, I feel there has been an improvement in my life and in my path since I devoted myself to the Morrígan. I have had quite a few periods of the past year where there were major lulls in my personal practice. The wide gaps in some of my blog posting here can attest to that. But I don’t consider those times to be what some would call fallow times, because, in all honesty, it was my own fault in purposefully ignoring different things and focusing elsewhere. My mundane life had been quite busy this past year as well, making it more difficult to focus on the spiritual and metaphysical sides of things.

However, despite that, I still feel there has been a shift in things for myself. While I still feel like I am wondering around in circles at times on this path, I know I am not alone. She is there beside me trying to guide me to where I need to be. I say try because I am stubborn and will willfully ignore Her despite the constant shouts of “Listen!” She is very much like a deity form of Navi in my life right now, and I think even she is amused by our mutual stubbornness with each other and the comparison to a video game fairy. But she is always there when I call to her. Sometimes, well often, scolding me to get back on track with what she asked of me the last time I talked to her. And I’ll roll my eyes and say okay, but not do it.

She has gotten to work with Lugh again. He is much more subtle in the background of what I do compared to the Morrígan, but he is there as well. She has had me do work with Manannán mac Lir as well. She is having me learn more about astral things and the Celtic Otherworlds (and other ones too mind you) with Him. And while I question the necessity of it, She reminds me that if I do the work, I will figure it out eventually.

So yeah. Overall, this past year seems to feel more like I am heading in the right direction. I have picked up studying more about Gaelic Polytheism to understand more about that aspect of things. I have been working well sometimes working on my shadow work that I need to do most of all. And yeah.

While I didn’t do much yesterday to commemorate the anniversary though, I did make sure to reach out and talk to her as I dozed for a bit during a nap. She mostly reiterated to me about the fact that I need to do my shadow work. I have been putting it off for a few years now and have yet to finish well not really finish as it is really an ongoing process it all. Recently I had been doing more work with it, but the Morrígan made it clear that I need to get through some of this stuff before I can move forward in my path – before She will let me know what is next.

Alright Morrígan, I will listen this time, hopefully. So here’s to another year ahead.

Booping God Feels and Shadow Work

I am not entirely sure how I wanted to begin this other than the fact that since the other day I joined in briefly with the Drowning in God Feels Thursdays my roommie Meritinpu has been doing over on Tumblr that it provoked me to write something about this.

Anyway. I don’t particularly fall into the category of “drowning” in god feels mostly, because, well, I tend to be fairly held back in my devotional feels for my deities. So I appropriately feel more like “booping the god feels” is more accurate to how my god feels present themselves. I lightly approach the feelings and I do enjoy seeing others god feels even if I don’t lose myself in them. It is in general how most of my feelings work. The unexpected nostalgia yesterday is one of those times my Scorpio moon bubbles over with emotions I am not prepared for.

Granted, this gets away from my intention to talk about one of the Things the Morrighan is always telling me to do. She has this habit that if I start to ask about the purpose of doing things she’ll respond with the quip that I need to do my shadow work and maybe I’ll find out why she is also having me work with Manannan on this navigating the Celtic Otherworlds. Even if I ask Manny when she isn’t there, she swoops in and says, “Nope. Do the work and maybe you’ll find out.” 😛

I honestly think Manny gets a kick out of it every time I ask him and she interrupts us. Even if she isn’t a part of the work I am doing that night with him, she inevitably appears at those moments when I ask. The longer I go, the more annoyed she gets about the fact I haven’t finished my shadow work. Which honestly is somewhat entertaining to make her annoyed and I think Lugh and Manny get a kick out of me trolling her by putting it off and they are even more amused that she’ll roll back by interrupting and telling me to get on the shadow work if I ever ask the purpose of my work with Manny.

But I suppose she is right and I do need to start doing more with my shadow work. I think the hit of nostalgia yesterday was another reminder that I needed to do some work with things. So I have added a new page in my bullet journal as a check list for the shadow work exercises I need to do from The Temple of Shamanic Witchcraft by Christopher Penczak I have been borrowing for a long while from my roommate. Plus I have a check list for a Tumblr 31-Day Shadow Work Challenge that incorporates Tarot and everything. I figure this will help remind me about things. 😛 Hopefully.

I am sure I will continue to be pestered by the Morrighan about it. Particularly if I even begin to ask Manny about something. It will be a matter of doing a little here and there on a more consistent basis. With Spring Break coming up, that will give me a good opportunity to definitely work harder on some of those things and get into a routine again. Maybe I’ll do a mini-retreat like I did last year. We’ll see. 😀

My Bullet Journal

I know this doesn’t entirely relate to my path and all that, but I love my bullet journal and I figure I would share. I do use it for some aspects of my path, namely I started using it back in January to track devotional tasks and daily tarot pulls. I recently got my new Leuchtturm 1917 in the mail and I have been diligently setting it up and preparing to switch over to it for the start of March, so that was one of things I wanted to show off some of my layouts.

The last image is from my layout most related to things for this blog. I have a checklist for devotional tasks. There is altar/shrine care things and also general devotional things as well as path work. I’ll add my list of spirits and devotional tasks for them later I am sure. The other is my daily tarot log. I think in March I will switch to a new deck. Past two months I have used my Revelations Tarot and now I think it is time to for a switch.

As a another little bullet journal sample, the above three pictures are from my writing bujo. I was having fun with lettering when I did some of these. This is just a small sample. Several of the pages will have outlines and notes regarding the posts and creative writing pieces I am working on. But I am hoping that using these will help me stay organized and keep writing more consistently. 😀

But yeah. I have been so excited by my new Leuchtturm that I wanted to share some of these pages from my bullet journals. It helps motivate me a little more to do things right now.