Dream Log 6.29.16

The Context:

Last night I went out for trivia and we swept the floor in all three rounds because it was all music and my mentor is great a music trivia. But I did that last night before coming home to bed where I watched an episode of Orange Is the New Black Season 4. Lately, I have also started dating someone and having some, I-don’t-know-what anxiety. Whether much of any of this related to my dream, I do not know.

The Dream:

Several family members are here. Nieces and nephews. My siblings. And several of my friends. Some event is happening and we are getting ready for it. I wear a red corset under my dress (maybe it is red too, but I can’t recall for sure. I know the corset is for sure). Everyone has left as I finish getting ready, but I find someone, a man, to help adjust the back of my dress. (I know him somehow in the dream and we share some history and supposed trust, but I do not recognize him from my waking life). He helps me and we both head to the event, but go our separate ways.

The event goes on. I don’t know what it is, but in the dream I do. I recognize her at some point as well, but at this point there is no animosity. We are just there at the same event and we vaguely know each other. The event goes well, until a certain point. My failing dress is not the only thing that causes panic and chaos, but the dream doesn’t show me everything.

My dress comes apart from the back. I have to hold it up and keep it wrapped around me. My friends help me and we go to a private area. The rest of the chaos is happening at the same time and the party, the event, has fallen to pieces. I know what has happened to my dress. Sabotaged by the man from earlier. Now there is more realization of our history together. He’s done something else to betray me, and he scares me, but I can’t recall why.

I huddle on a couch with my friends around me. I grab a hold of one’s arm as she comforts me and then I see him appear around the corner. I cannot say anything. He is too highly respected. No one in power would really believe me. But my friends see it, in the way I clutch at her arm and hide from him.

Something clicks for me, and my inner warrior comes out. Whatever else is happening here must stop. I have to stop it before it gets worse. My friends agree to help and we set forth on our mission.

It doesn’t go as well as we hope. She is there again. The man had been helping her and she has taken over. All we can do is run and flee or risk imprisonment or worse. My friends face less risk than I do and they hide me someplace safe but return to their mission.

Time passes, perhaps years, and things seem to have gotten worse in this dream world. My friends have not returned, but not from abandonment or betrayal. And for the first time since hiding where I am, she comes to the area. I try to hide and see her entourage pass close beside me. By sheer luck she doesn’t see me. She’s looked the other way as she comes close. I am relieved, but I know now I cannot sit and wait any longer.

A friend in this area has been helping me, a man, and he guides me to a place where the people there can possibly help me. There are strange blocks of ice or crystal in this area that are much like a glacier. They glow and grow in strange ways. But we are being pursued and hide here. The place disconcerts me but it scares our pursuers enough that we are safe. We continue crossing the crystal glacier and come upon an area of water and people, merfolk perhaps.

We have to be careful, they are not the friendliest of people, my friend tells me. They don’t trust many, especially those from where we are from. But I mess up. I slip and fall into the waters in my rush at some point. They are upon me. They don’t know who I am, yet, but they know enough to want to kill me.

I escape, with his help, and climb up out of the water to speak to them. One has come out of the water with me though, their leader, a fierce woman. I call out to them, though. “I am Princess Althea, and I need your help.” There is a cacophony of noise from all of them. They know who I am now, and I have been missing for years.

The woman grabs me and holds a knife to my throat. She says something that implies she intends to turn me in to her. It would give them freedom and a reward if they gave me up to her. But something changes in her countenance. My people and I had never been her enemy, just the usurper who stole the kingdom. They would help me.

The Commentary:

Half of me has no idea what to really think about this dream. But I guess I’ll break it down based on who I recognized in the dream. I recognize the main “her” from the dream who stole the kingdom. She is someone from my own life that I don’t talk to anymore and someone who periodically still shows up in my dreams in different ways. The men, both the first who betrayed me and the one who is my friend I do not recognize. My family in the dream were all pretty much my family in my waking life though. And my friends. I recognized my roommate in one part and a friend from online (who’s arm I held) and another friend from high school.

I very very consciously remember saying I was “Princess Althea” in the dream too. I don’t often remember names in dreams or even say them. So honestly, that throws me off quite a lot. The whole running and hiding and uprising stuff isn’t unusual for my dreams though (and honestly I have had a few dreams where I was a princess but yeah). The actual name being remembered is interesting to me.

In some ways, I almost think about it being some random past life memory, not that I need any more to be trying to figure out right now. In other ways, I’m like, damn this will be a very fun story to try to write all out whether or not it was just a dream.

Lastly, I am not sure if the whole thing with the man who betrayed me was in some ways related to some of my dating anxieties I am having. It could be, I don’t know. Not that I think this guy I am dating was the guy in the dream (appearances definitely not but also I didn’t recognize my date at all in my dream), but maybe just that weird way that dreams work to make us work through crap in our lives. But, hell, that was pretty highly elaborate and not overly focused on the betrayer guy.

So yeah. I haven’t written down many dreams lately because they have been pretty vague if I do recall them. This one was damn clear and fairly easy to recall all the main bits. Especially the name. :/


The Crow

This morning I decided I was going to go ahead and get going a little faster than usual. More or less. 😛

After I got dressed and started fixing my oatmeal this morning, I started to hear the cawing. Now, crows are not entirely unusual in our area, but now and then when my roommate and I are talking about something there is a too well timed caw that interrupts us. Or there will be something on my mind and then a caw or crows flying around. I don’t usually hear crows cawing when I am inside the house though.

I didn’t really pay much attention initially. Because, again, they aren’t unusual where I live and I was more concerned about the consistency of my oatmeal. But then my cat went on alert. He usually likes to chirp at little song birds and robins, and I have never seen him take an interest in crows before. He was unusually much more quiet this morning while my roommate was still in her room and when he heard the crow cawing out back he did his spaz run to the back window and the dog’s couch to look out the window. He did the little cat chirps to the crow that sat in the branches of the neighbor’s tree that lined our yard. And it kept cawing back.

It just seemed to signal a little more than just a bird hanging out by our house. A little confirmation, perhaps. And then my daily tarot pull was the 8 of Cups from my Revelations Tarot. It is about making a movement to leave behind emotional stress. To walk away from that which does not serve any more. That, today, with the Morrigan calling out, we reached the end of this and can eventually make room for more.

And now Clair de Lune is playing on my Pandora on my phone. A song that has a great deal of past life significance for me. Not necessarily related to leaving behind and walking away, but, I don’t know. It just seems like an appropriate song to hear right now.

Also, I dreamed about Gerarian last night. At least in one part of my dream. 😛

Dream Log 2.2.16 sorta

This won’t entirely be like my typical dream logs. Mostly because there isn’t a whole lot to discuss about this dream in particular. It just made me think about things. Things that have happened the last ten or so years.

People from my past show up in my dreams now and again. People I don’t talk to anymore. People who did have a major impact on who I am today. People I sometimes still have issues with. I think quite a few times, these dreams with these people are simple reminders that there may be some underlying issue I still have with the person. Other times they may be astral bump-ins.

Last night’s dream someone showed up that hasn’t shown up in my dreams in quite a while. Not since, well, before I left my old college coven in 2011. If she had shown up in dreams since then I don’t really remember them. But in the old ones between 2009 and 2011, those dreams were always rather blatant in showing my distaste for her.

I don’t often talk about those things on this blog. I save those things for my other, memoir blog truthspark8.wordpress.com. But I think there may be some need to mention more here although not full details yet.

Jessica, or Nicole as I call her over on my other blog, betrayed our college coven. And more specifically she helped betray our coven’s leader and my college roommate, but it caused a deep-seeded rift in our coven that eventually caused the rest of the coven’s breakdown over the next few years.

So there was a great deal of animosity toward her during that time. My dreams reflected it. Angry words were spoken in the dreams. Punches thrown. A lovely cathartic feeling upon waking. And eventually the dreams with her slowed down and stopped. There were a few later that showed the change for the better. She was there, but no animosity. No confrontations.

After I left my college coven, I began dreaming about my college roommate, Allison, in much the same way. The hurt I felt from what happened there was far different and much more lasting. Hell, there are times when I do still dream about her and there is still animosity felt. Some dreams there was enough of a catharsis that later her appearances were just to be there, and show that change before those feelings bubbled back up and the dreams showed the animosity again. But that happens far less frequently than it used to.

It was surprising though that Jessica appeared again in my dream. She ignored me, but I greeted her and another friend from college that I don’t really talk to anymore. The two of them are friends so it makes sense. And the friend did acknowledge me and greeted me warmly.

While nothing about that is too remarkable, it just made me think about the people that show up in my dreams. How it often shows some shadow work I do through my dreams or at least what shadow work I still have yet to do. So I felt like sharing a bit about that. 🙂

Dream Log 1.22.16

The Context:

Roomie and I stayed up a little later talking about things and when I did go to be I turned on “Planet of the Ood” from Doctor Who that I fell asleep very quickly to.

The Dreams:

The details are mostly gone from my first dream, but the feeling lingers just long enough to recall a few bits. It is outside. There is a tent. We’d headed into it sometime before for some reason and the details before the tent are what has vanished. The tent is supposed to be a relatively safe place. But there is a large group of people that showed up outside of it that were not friendly. They want in or want something. The girl I am with? The one, their leader, is insistent on coming in for a moment to talk and is allowed entrance, but that is when they attacked. With him inside they are able to take down our defenses and the electronics inside. Things go haywire. But the rest of the dream details fade before I can see or remember more…

The second dream is more tangible. I am in a small dorm type room. There is a hallway to more rooms and an alcove where we are. It is comfortable for the four or so of us to be content here. But suddenly the room fills with people. More than can really be comfortable. I am reminded of a curfew check and these people have to file into the nearest room. It lasts a very short time before they begin to file back out again. A few remain. Other roommates perhaps? The sit at computer decks in the middle of the room but I go back to interacting with the original three in the room with me. Two men and a woman. They are familiar. One I am next to I am a bit more familiar with and we talk briefly before he moves away. I start gather my things up for something but I spill a bunch of clear gel balls of different sizes across the floor. I go to scoop them up and the floor is wet, making it hard to find some of the balls. I have to grab from under then desk of one of the other people in the room. I get the balls collected but then I drop them again and have to do it all over again. This time, it draws the other guy’s attention. Our interaction is not a pleasant one. Not related to the balls that had been spilt but something else entirely, but I can’t remember what. When and how he comes to leave I don’t know. And soon after the dream fades and new one begins…

Flights. A hotel room. Something else. I don’t know exactly what happened to the rest of the dream but the details toward the end are easier to recall. I am in a hotel room I think. It is a large suit with multiple rooms. Is this the dream with the cat? Was there a cat? The last thing I really recall is someone coming in with a huge twisted set of keys strung together saying how he thought whoever was in the room had checked out. The keys had been returned. I said no, we had lost ours or given them to a friend but she left town before us so she returned them to the desk for us to pick up. It seemed to make some sense in the dream…

The Commentary:

I feel like there is something missing. Some important detail I am missing and cannot recall. I feel a presence from my dreams of someone familiar but I can’t tell who it is. Did he show up in the dream or what? I don’t know. I just feel like he was there, but I can’t remember who he is.

The first dream had so much more to it but the vast majority of the details have gone. They faded first and were superseded by the later dreams. It seemed more important to remember a bit more.

The second dream I identified the three main roommates as being Gerarian and Mel and my other lover (sometimes I dislike that word). I don’t know who the other guy was or whatever. But yeah. The details stuck more with that dream than the others.

The third dream is rather random in context to the other two but possibly related to my upcoming trip to California in a couple months.

Dream Log 1.9.16

The Context:

I ended up watching two movies in bed last night and fell asleep during the second one. They were romantic movies because apparently that is what I have been in the mood for. They were Leap Year and An Affair to Remember with Carey Grant. Sweet, innocuous movies you’d think would have me dreaming cute romantic shit right? Well, apparently not…

There is some minor gore ahead to beware…

The Dreams:

I was kidnapped and held prisoner by someone along with two others. I remember the chains. I remember one of the others was very punk goth looking. I remember she and the other one were a bit cruel at first, but it seemed more like they were trying to keep me from breaking because there was a change in them. I was broken and reverted to a younger mindset. I don’t know what else changed, but they became friends and our captor seemed less bad. I went with him some place and felt more at ease with him and no longer afraid, but something happens and while they try to save me, someone else ends up kidnapping me in an elevator.

Then there was the dream where I recognized more people. Old friends and current. I was hiding someplace. How I could hide there only dream mechanics can explain, but it was beneath something, like a tunnel but not in the ground. And she was there, I think. Was this the dream that Gerarian was in too? Where I knew something terribly sad and tragic was happening? Was this the one  he came to me and everything seemed to come crashing down? I can’t remember what it was. I can’t remember what was said, if anything. I just know the feeling wasn’t good.

Then I was someplace familiar and the people with me were vaguely familiar. I was smoking and something was off. People or children were disappearing. And I remember seeing an opened first aid kit with lots of things missing, used. The person I was with knew who it was that had taken it and where they went, so we went after him. Were we followed or was it that we found him and he was different? She knew what to do and I followed her lead. There were people dead in another room. Something was going to explode. She said she was going in to stop it. He let her, but wouldn’t let me go as well. There were two sets of glass doors with a small room between the room I was in and the room she went into. He was afraid if I went, then she would do something to destroy him in here. But that wasn’t the plan. I took the ribbon/beads to the door. He tried to stop me but I said it was a farewell tradition. I was saying goodbye to her and the others who were gone. Somehow, the trick worked and he followed me into the small room and I escaped back out into the former room again and locked him in. He then went into the other room, mad, and was going to kill the other woman. I sneaked back into the glass door room to watch and lock him from getting in. She threw some sort of trigger and he was caught in the shock of electricity. It appeared to work at first, but something happened and he became a monster. Bloody and mutated. He may have attacked them but what I remember is him running to the room where I was and pushing his way in (doors always fail to lock in my dreams) and attack me. There was an extra gaping mouth in his torso and everything was hideous and monstrous. But I punched and kicked back. I felt them hit something solid.

And then I woke up…

The Commentary:

Honestly, I have a lot of kidnap dreams where things have kinda turned Stockholm syndrome on me. I don’t know why, but they can be weird and disturbing to say the least. And the monster in the last dream was so opposite of what I watched that that just throws me off. If I watched Resident Evil recently I would accept that dream more, but I haven’t watched much monster or gore movies lately.

The dream, whichever dream it was (it could have been another), with Gerarian really bothered me. I think he showed up twice in my dreams but I can only vaguely remember the one where he was close and something was terribly wrong. Something that all I can really remember from it is that it was sad and tragic and not something I want at all. But I can’t remember anything of what it was.

Dream Log 1.2

Last night or this morning I had a very interesting dream.

The Context:

I have been working on some past life stuff on and off with a being who looks and reminds me a lot of the Tenth Doctor so I don’t know if this dream connected to that at all but he has been showing up a lot in my dreams lately. Last night I had a short conversation with Gerarian before falling asleep about what he wanted my attention for. His songs have been playing every time  I turn on the radio or Pandora so it seemed like he had something to say. Our conversation revolved mostly around me getting the courage to text some guy and see about dating. 😛 But I don’t know if that had anything to do with this dream. Just wanted to provide before bed context…Anyway…

The Dream:

Before anything else, the dream began with a gathering. I was meeting four other ladies and for some reason, two of their parents were there to play the game as well. We were finally sitting down to play D&D. Some had to drive further so they were late. But someone’s dad was not the most open or friendly guy and was sitting next to me being stubborn about our game. But before the dream transitioned, the parents left and our last player showed up to play.

From there, forgotten dreams until I found myself in a building, in rooms, perhaps a hotel? But no. Later is appeared much more like a high school building. I was in a room. There were dressers and I was attempting to hide. I pushed some of the furniture in front of the door. I hid as much as I could. From what, I am not sure at this point. But I am found and I am brought out of the room.

I am able to slip away from him and run. So I run through the building. I run through rooms upon rooms, making twists and turns. The building is like a maze and honestly seems like different buildings mashed together. Office spaces, hotel, high school or college. There is a theater auditorium I run through at one point and a gymnasium.

There are people there to help me. And he’s shown back up to help me, Ten. The woman direct me to go into the secret back room in the gym and it leads to room that has no business attached to a gym. It is round and slanted and there is a passage along the back wall that leads up into another secret room or two. They tell me to go up and hide and they’ll try to stop whoever has been chasing me.

I know I can’t let him catch me because he’ll use me. Even if he doesn’t know yet what I am and only wants to stop me from working with Ten, he will use me against him. I hide up there but as dreams do, I saw what was happening below instead of what I was doing while hiding.

The man chasing me showed up and somehow managed to overpower Ten. The woman is nowhere. The man’s supporters have shown up and begin searching for me but they can’t find me. The man secures Ten to where he cannot escape as he continues to lay unconscious. Suddenly, he changes, shapeshifts to appear as Ten and begins searching for me himself.

I grow restless and leave my hiding spot and run into him. I hug him, thinking he is Ten, but a part of me knows it isn’t. He tells me I am safe and he stopped ____ from finding me. I accept this and follow him. But I know it isn’t Ten now. I play along. All his supporters are there and that solidifies it more.

Somehow a small lazy river has appeared and he lets me wander it as he makes plans to do whatever. As I float there I see hundreds of ravens and crows. I even squawk at one and it comes closer before the water continues to carry me. They are everywhere. And I finally figure out what happened to the real Ten.

I come back around to the circular room and know where to find him. But the man has seen me and follows me. I get to Ten just before the man catches up to me. We exchange words that I don’t remember and I don’t remember if I managed to release Ten or not as the dream finally ended with my cat continuing to pester me awake.

The Commentary:

Like I said previously, I have been having more dreams with the Tenth Doctor in it and I haven’t really been watching Doctor Who much. But I have been working with a spirit that looks quite similar to him and we’ve shared a past life together so my dreams with the Tenth Doctor are really more dreams about this spirit than Doctor Who. I don’t know if the dream had any relation to the past life or not. It seems similar to it with certain aspects that I know about and remember vaguely but also it was quite a hodgepodge type of dream too.

I have never had a dream with crows or ravens in it that I remember, so seeing them was interesting. I get the vague impression it may have been the Morrigan stopping in, but for what I don’t know. I sat down in my car on my drive home to chat with her about things, but maybe she was wanting to talk more about that and slipping into my dream was her way of saying we have more to talk about.

Dream Log 12.20

I have done one of these in a while but I thought there were parts of this dream that were quite interesting.

The Dream(s):

Where I am and how I got here has faded from memory. There are others around but I don’t recognize them now. I don’t know what we are doing, but there is a small pool of dark liquid that is very still.

I jump onto the plank that stands in the middle across the long ways of the pool. The black liquid laps across it and my feet. I lower myself to my stomach to feel the liquid more, but it just feels like water. So I get up and walk back to a small platform near the one edge. It too has the black water sitting on it.

Somehow I fall in. Or am I pushed? Where did the center plank go? I know this blackness isn’t good to be submerged in, so I flail and struggle in the depths. It feels like a quagmire now. Thick and oozing and it pulls me down.

But then there is a strange sense of stillness and peace. I loose sense of my body and everything else. I don’t think I am breathing anymore either. I don’t feel anything. But somehow I get back out of the black liquid and onto the platform, pulling myself up and out. Back to where I can breathe and where I can feel again. My heart pounding from brief submersion in the pool.

Then other dreams shift around and I find myself with more recognizable faces. There are so many rooms and half rooms that my dream space likes to create a maze to give me places to run and hide. And I hide from something/someone for some time alone. But there is some in the next room with only a partial wall separating us. I am never alone here.

But something happens. Rather than hiding there is running, a chase. I don’t know at first if I am chasing or being chased this time. They are after something. Others show up and come to help or maybe to the rescue but the other I know was there that I never see has escaped and hidden themself from us.

We stand there for a minute and I explain something, whatever it was that happened with the chase. What I come to realize he is after. There is a tower. A temple. I saw it in another dream I didn’t remember. There is a countdown now. Time is short for us and him. But he hasn’t gotten what he needs just yet, but we know where he is going to be.

The Commentary:

I got started to think the pool in the dream was like the Void. For me, someone who has a lot of moving energy, being in the Void has sometimes a oppressive stillness to it. Particularly if I haven’t acclimated to it and traveled to it in awhile. So the stillness in the black pool made me think about the Void.

Then the other dream started to remind me in the end totally about the Dungeons and Dragons Campaign I am planning out. The tower I saw and the temple totally looked like a DnD scenery type location and I want to include it now with this interesting mysterious super villain that will over-arch the entire campaign. Muahaha!