Weekly Tarot – April 10 – 16

Last Week’s Reflection

Last week seems to be a blur already. I wrote last time that I thought my tarot was about re/connecting to someone for wisdom and counsel and that would help increase my own intuition and such. I can’t say I actually followed through on connecting with anyone spiritually this past week or did much increasing intuition, but mundanely speaking I think there was some truth to the cards I pulled. I have been slowly trying to plan a business venture and there are things I know I need to get done before that can happen and some of the the advice seeking has centered on that and things I need to do sooner to help that happen. My monthly overall card I pulled last week seems to be rearing its head a lot more than I expected too this week. 😛

This Week’s Weekly Pull

I am pulling from my Legacy of the Divine Tarot by Ciro Marchetti right now. I recently started using it again for some daily draws for a blog I help run and it has been handing out some interesting and tough love advice lately and I feel like it was appropriate to use.

What is in store for me this week?

What should I focus on? – Five of Coins

Things are appearing a little desperate and dark. I may be in a place that makes it hard to see the light behind me, but it is there and there is hope for a turn around.

What lesson is in this? – Eight of Wands

The Eight of Wands is a card that shows a forward and upward momentum after a series of struggles. Once those struggles are overcome, there is freedom to move forward with plans and progress again.

Advice on overcoming obstacles? – VII The Chariot

In overcoming any obstacle, struggle, or desperate situation one needs to have the willpower and perseverance  to push through it all. It is time to plan things out and commit to those plans with all my drive.

This week, from my Monthly spread, is also linked to the King of Pentacles again. There is still a need to gain some wisdom regarding financial and material success right now which is partially what my desperation is about. With help from this King, I can form this plan of mine more solidly and be able to move forward with one phase of it before the year is out.

As a little extra for this week, I went ahead and pulled a SoulCard from Deborah Koff-Chapin’s first set.

soulcard

Image from http://touchdrawing.com/gallery/soulcards1 (c) Deborah Koff-Chapin

I absolutely love this cards because there are no assigned meanings to them and you can interpret them differently in different situations and just seem so much more intuitive when reading with them.

Anyway, this pull automatically makes me think about being pregnant with ideas or a project and letting it germinate and grow. At the right time it will be delivered out into the world. Ideas are exploding from her head in beams of light. The orb is growing in her hand but it is not quite fully formed. She looks at it with love and care and feeds it the positive energy it needs to become fully alive and realized. This plan I have needs nurturing and guided growth with positive energy. It will happen. It will be good for me. It is the light that I am not seeing in the Five of Coins card above. It is that hope of escaping this desperation and with a plan of continuous work and dedication and nurturing energy, it will manifest.

While things seem a little desperate initially with this weeks pull, there is a lesson in pushing through it all and finding that light at the end of the tunnel by actually working toward a plan and a goal I need to remember. Staying positive about the outcome and all the step in between is something that the last few months to a year I have struggled with and I have to remember it now. I cannot stay frustrated about the little things stopping me, not if I want to actually move forward.

April Monthly and Weekly Tarot

Figure this is a good time to start posting my monthly and weekly tarot readings for myself again. I had started doing daily pulls too but then I got out of the habit when I went on vacation, but I am going to start up again with those as well for April, but I won’t post those here or on my tumblr account.

As I have done in the past, for my Monthly reading I pull a card for each week of the month and then one for Overall what to expect from the month. Sometimes these parallel pretty well with my Yearly Tarot I pull at the beginning of the year, other times not so much. My Weekly Tarot reading is a little different as I pull three cards with what to focus on, what lesson is there in that focus, and how to overcome obstacles. So it goes a little more into detail for the week ahead and sometimes it relates pretty closely to the Monthly pulls for each week.

Anyway, my Monthly Tarot for April is as follows (done with the Linestrider Tarot):

Week One (April 3-9): Page of Cups

A time of increasing intuition and creativity is coming. This first week of April is about attuning to emotions and intuition.

Week Two (April 10-16): King of Pentacles

The second week of April focuses on wisdom and success in material and financial situations.

Week Three (April 17-23): Seven of Swords

This week there may be a need to pay attention to hidden motivations of others and also a need to be diplomatic and tactful.

Week Four (April 24-30): Seven of Cups

This last week of April is about possibilities and choices, some of which may be pure fantasy full of unreal expectations. It is a time to be mindful of what is achievable and what is just wishful thinking.

Overall: Nine of Swords

This month may be full of some anxieties and worry. There is a sense of isolation and a dark night of the soul with this month.

When I pulled for my Yearly spread I got the Knight of Cups with my Shadowscapes Tarot for what to expect from the month of April. The Nine of Swords seems a bit of the opposite to this and the other cards this month, but it may indicate I may end up over-worrying about certain things that I don’t need to worry about, like my upcoming wedding to my spirit fiancees.

For my Weekly Tarot for the first week of April I pulled the following (again with Linestrider):

What should I focus on? – King of Pentacles

It may be time to seek counsel from someone wiser. This may be a spirit ally or a person in my physical life, but it is time to focus on wisdom.

What lesson is in this? – The High Priestess

Seeking advice and counsel from another can help increase my own intuition and spirituality and also bring some things back into balance again.

Advice for overcoming obstacles? – Six of Swords

I need to make sure I focus on the future and moving away from things that are difficult rather than focusing on past hurts or failures.

Initially, the King of Pentacles threw me off when I pulled for this week because it showed up in my Monthly to be for the second week of April. However, it still makes sense overall for this week too. I feel there is a need to connect to someone this week to work on some intuition and psychic abilities type thing, just not sure exactly who that would be as of yet.

In my personal journal I try to write an End of the Week/Month/Day Reflections for each card I pull now to see how the cards actually played out or related to things that occurred. When I post up the next week I will try to give a little reflection back on this reading and when I post the next Monthly reading I will try to do the same about the reflection for the Month as well.

Vacation on the West Coast

Last week my roommate and I went on a friend-cation with two of our really good friends. I have been to California before but it was Southern California and for a conference and I really didn’t enjoy it. But this time…omg. Such a different experience.

We unplugged, for the most part, from technology. I turned off almost all my notifications save for texts and calls in case something did come up when we were doing our separate things or to hear about my cat back home. But no internet for things. No email. No worrying about my mundane job and life. Just being out there in the Redwoods.

I have been to the sea plenty of times. Often went to Florida for summers when I was younger. I enjoyed them for the most part, but it was always bustling with lots of people and it was just a little too, I can’t quite describe the word for it, but just not as it could be with all the people there.

But on our two trips to two different beaches near our cabin in the Redwoods, it was a much different experience. Maybe east coast sunrises are just different and not the same as evening sunsets on the west coast, but I was so at peace. For me, Manannán was there. I associate him so much more with a western facing shoreline than anything else. Sun setting over the ocean. Waves crashing and roaring in the ears. The winds blowing my hair wild. Those moments I want to relieve again.

The one shore was more typical of beaches I have been. It was quite lovely. More driftwood than I have seen before and lots of stones perfect for skipping. But the second beach was a black sands beach and…that was quite a spiritual experience. The marijuana probably aided that too. But sitting on a large rock above the crashing waves, so much like my bliss area I go during meditations, and the mists rolling down the mountains, it was such a liminal space.

I don’t like touristy/vacationy beaches where people go to sunbathe and swim in the ocean and are overcrowded. But beaches like those with rocks and cold, wild waters with few visitors, those are the ones I enjoy. The wild peace of the ocean is found at those. The places where Land and Sea meet the Sky in all their untamed glory that allow us to slip so easily between the realms. The liminal places of this earth.

There were so many crows out there too. They were always so chatty, so much more than back home. We climbed a hilly cemetary one day and a whole murder of crows were chatting up storms up at the top. The Morrighan was quite near.

And the Redwoods themselves were gorgeous. It was quite another world there. A Faery World as my one friend calls it. The whole trip out in nature was quite awe inspiring. There is so much I would want to say but I can’t fully find the words to say any of it. I just know that that is one place I am glad I got to visit and see in my lifetime. It was refreshing and inspiring.

I hope to be able to pull on the rejuvenation I gained from that trip for the next few weeks and months back at school. I need something to get me through these classes this semester for sure and that trip will be it.

Monthly Tarot – March

I am going to start posting a monthly reading again. I may start adding weekly readings as well, but for now just the monthly one. I have been doing really well working on daily pulls for myself. I started with the Linestrider deck but then switched to my Deviant Moon deck last week for a change. I don’t use the deck often so I forget how interesting the readings can actually be.

So for this month, I pulled for five weeks instead of just four since this week and the last week of March both have five days in them. I also pull an additional card for overall what to expect out of the month.

Week 1: XX Judgment – The trumpet calls. It is time to respond to the inner calling. Use your gifts and do not squander them.

Week 2: Nine of Cups – It is time to become your own genie and make your wishes and dreams come true. Tap into your inner potential.

Week 3: Six of Swords – You are traveling and rising about your sorrows. Hardships are behind you and you are pushing aside negative thoughts to head someplace more positive. (This is the week that I am taking a trip out to the Redwoods and so I immediately saw this as representing some of that travel aspect and getting away from mundane things)

Week 4: Seven of Cups – Creative endeavors and potentials surround you. Have your vision set and let your creativity run free. Express yourself artistically.

Week 5: Ace of Wands – Something new is germinating. There is a spark of new potential. New projects await and surges of inspiration will take hold.

Overall: I The Magician – It is a time of creation and integrating of elements. Practice your skills to increase your proficiency. Be bold. Allow magic and healing to dominate right now.

So far this month looks like it is going to hold a great deal of potential for me. In my yearly spread I did at the end of December I pulled the Nine of Cups (from Shadowscapes tarot) for March which is all about good health, achieving hearts desire, and good fortune. I mean, this month seems to hold some great potential in that realm of things.

Salve Regina

I meant to write a couple days ago. However, things were busy with my family so I had to postpone this until now.

I forgot to mention in my post here about how in my reading from John, a card indicated looking back on my childhood spirituality and bringing something forward into my current spirituality. Immediately, as he started saying that, I thought about the rosary. I didn’t often say the rosary, but it has always been one of my favorite aspects of my Catholic upbringing.

When I was confirmed my Sophomore or Junior year of college, my aunt (who sponsored me), gave me a gift. She said she knew it wasn’t the prettiest rosary, but it was her mother’s (my maternal grandmother’s). I thought it was gorgeous. It is probably the one rosary I pull out on a consistent basis to look at or old. For one, it was my grandmother’s and it serves as a connection to her. The other reason is that I actually keep it where I can access it fairly quickly.

My grandmother’s rosary.

Anyway, I figured it wouldn’t be a bad idea to start saying the rosary again as a regular part of my practice. Especially with Lent rolling around Wednesday I can take up the practice for the time period and see how that helps progress my spiritual path.

I am by no means throwing out other aspects of my pagan path. I have always had a great deal of love for my Catholic roots and I just didn’t, for the longest time, really incorporate it into my practice as I have always aimed to. Praying the rosary is very centering and very meditative. It is a way for my to connect with my Catholic ancestors and the tradition of it has always made me feel something. And that is something that I think is important for me right now.

I am actually looking forward to spending some time with the rosary now.

Little More Confidence

I took a trip to the New Age shop I applied at today to check on my application. I also decided to get a reading from one of the psychics, John, who has also been a mentor for me these last few years of developing myself psychically.

One reason for this is because, despite saying I feel like I am on the right track, I just need some more confirmation on it. There is always that little bit of doubt still, despite trusting that it is the correct decision.

Interestingly enough, a card flipped over during my shuffling and it showed back up when I split the deck for him to pick back up before laying out the cards. In became the very first card in the spread and John told me that I was making the right decisions. Another card popped up that was indicating my doubts about whether I was doing the right thing, but the fact that the first card was so prevalent and the Judgment card also appeared, he said it was a good sign. The reading also indicated a new gift was coming my way and with everything that I am planning to do, that is probably a good thing. I am not sure what it will be, but overall I feel a lot more confident about the direction I am planning on taking.

It definitely isn’t happening in the next year, but things are currently looking like I am taking the right steps in planning for it to happen in the next few years.

Now I am working on doing quick little daily tarot draws to build up my skill there again. I won’t necessarily post them here at all, but I do think I want to post my weekly and monthly pulls again soon. Again, I need more practice and this would be a good place to start. Eventually, I will probably offer some free readings again. It has been quite a while since I have actually offered any.

So, anyway. Just trying to be sure I write something each week too. I am looking forward to a lot of fun time with my friends tomorrow to celebrate our birthdays.

Integrating the Spiritual and Mundane, Goals to Work Toward

I mentioned previously in this post about how I am wanting…no. It is more of a need to be completely honest. There is a need to more fully integrate my spiritual work with my “mundane” work. I cannot do that teaching English Composition. I mean. I can incorporate little things here and there that bring my magic and craft into teaching English, but not the way I need to be doing.

Getting a job at the new age shop would be a start. If they call me back, that is. But I need to do more than just that. With the potential cutbacks I have been hearing about with my teaching job, I need a part time position for sure. But in the long run, I need to take other steps to bring my spiritual/metaphysical life to the forefront.

I have dedicated a little over one-third of my life actively to my spiritual development. It has been more than just to be a better person. I see that a bit more now than I used to. I used to think that I could compartmentalize these areas of my life, the mundane and the metaphysical. But I don’t think that is what I am supposed to do anymore.

A few years ago, I had gotten a reading from a psychic at the new age shop I am currently applying to work. She actually sort of surprised me. While I really do enjoy doing readings and taking psychic development classes, I never have really felt all that confident in my abilities. Maybe that is partially still a remnant of what I went through in college with my first coven and how we were and weren’t encouraged. But this psychic told me that an opportunity would present itself in the coming years to take a step into doing what she does. She actually told me something like, “You should be giving me the reading” or “You could be doing what I am doing.” She had asked me how seriously I was taking my development and that essentially the choice would present itself on whether I would take it to the next level and pursue things further. She had mentioned that when that time came, my choice would be clear.

It definitely made me think. I have occasionally looked into taking classes from a nearby spiritualist camp that offers certifications in various fields of psychic study. Nothing really has come of that though. It is just every now and then that I actually look up things there. But still, the seed was planted then with that reading. Maybe I could do that or at least do readings like that gal had told me I could.  Yet still, I have never really done anything. The choice hadn’t fully presented itself.

If feels like that time has finally come. In some way, little by little, things have come up that made me realize that keeping my spiritual and psychic life separate from my mundane hasn’t been fulfilling enough. It is part of what has been making me feel so stuck. Getting passed up for a full-time position yet again, shadow work, and just general contemplation have all made me start to realize that I want to do something more with my life. I need to integrate both sides of my life. I can be very good at compartmentalizing, but that isn’t working for me anymore.

I can be open about my spiritual stuff with several of my work colleagues, but I can’t truly bring that side of things into my job. I love teaching and I love writing, but I am realizing that writing is not what I should be teaching. I should certainly be writing and I should certainly still be teaching. But teaching writing is not where my path is leading anymore. It is a means to an end now. It is something to give me the chance to build up some stability while working toward a new goal that will allow me to let me spiritual psychic side be more prominent.

I had been thinking recently about my numerology again. My life path/struggle number is 4. Four is a number of stability. My mentor in psychic development describes the life path number as being something we struggle with in this life more than anything. I wouldn’t necessarily say I struggle with finding stability in my life. At least not always (though financially speaking that has been recently more of a struggle). But my struggle is with being complacent in places that are too stable. Unless something shifts the status quo enough, I will sit complacently by and pretend I am satisfied with things, even if I am not.

I have been pretending for a few semesters that I am happy teaching. I get my classes, so I am happy because I get the paycheck to help pay for my car and other things. My shadow work this past year started really showing me how that it is mostly just being complacent in my position. Sure I apply for full-time. Sure I could see myself teaching full-time, more or less. But it is complacency and not actual job satisfaction or happiness.

I need the Storm. I need the Tower to come tumbling down to often realize when I am being too complacent in my life. I have too often let myself compartmentalize when I shouldn’t. I have too often let myself continue down paths that do not stimulate my creativity or challenge me.

That Storm that is coming in my path needs me to no longer keep my mundane and spiritual life separate. That isn’t the balance in my life that I need. I need to integrate them so that they are one. That is the balance I need. That is part of what I have been seeking for the last few years.

Whether or not I get the confirmation signs I asked for, I know deep within that I cannot continue separating out my mundane and spiritual lives like this forever. I do not know for certain if this is what the Morrighan has been pushing me towards all these years or not, but I am making a decision for myself to push toward something that will be more appropriate for my continued soul development. Because I don’t need to know if this is what she wants from me anymore and I don’t necessarily need her permission to pursue it. Always waiting for her direction has gotten me nowhere and I know that isn’t what I was supposed to be doing anyway.

Something that I have wanted to do for years is have my own bookshop. When I was much younger I always imaged a full theme-park style bookstore with different historical eras and stuff. Way impractical, but the child I was back then thought it would have been awesome. The more practical 30-year-old adult I am now is much more inclined to par that bookstore down. But the idea has floated in my head for years, and as I think about ways to integrate my spiritual life into my mundane I am definitely thinking a metaphysical/new age book shop is what I want to work toward. I know it isn’t an easy task and I need a plan. Hell, it may not even be totally viable option in the long run and it will be a risk. The 4 in me isn’t fully a risk taker and is scared at that prospect, but I need to take that risk. I need that challenge.

I can’t keep putting my life on hold for things that might be. Because that is almost what I have been doing for the last few years of my life, putting my life on hold because this or this might happen so why bother trying. They might not. Having goals to work toward help keep hope and faith in this world often times. Sure, setbacks on those goals can cause us to doubt and lose a little faith, but I haven’t had anything real to work for in so long…or really ever honestly. That lack of a true goal has left me feeling stagnant and stuck on my path for so long. More so than I probably ever have admitted. But this new goal, this new potential path, gives me some direction again, some hope. It gives me the challenge I have actually been looking for in my life.

So, I will be making plans and taking steps toward something that I have wanted to do for years. I don’t know how much I will actually talk about those things here on this blog, but maybe periodically. I am looking forward to the potential growth this may offer me. For the first time in a while I am looking forward to something in my life. It isn’t just me going through the motions anymore and I feel like I can breathe again and that I do have that hope again that I have been missing.